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Re: Counselor from school. -
January 17th 2019, 10:31 PM
Hey,
I could relate to this post a lot. I definitely hear you when you say you want to tell her every detail, as I'm the exact same way and this is something that I struggle with. I don't know if you see it this way, but I always attribute it to my ASD, as those of us on the spectrum tend to be extremely detail-oriented. This is why I can end up writing like, a ten-page email... I'm definitely not a "big-picture" person and often find myself missing it completely because I'm so focused on the minute details. This can be a good thing, but it also causes me a lot of anxiety because I overanalyze everything. I'm working on it, but you know, old habits die hard. 
This probably sounds a little hypocritical coming from me, but believe me when I say that it's okay if you don't remember or include every single detail. If it's difficult for you to remember everything, chances are that she's probably a little fuzzy also.  Rather than trying to focus on getting everything, you could focus on the most recent or most important events in your life. (Although to me, every detail is important so that's probably not great advice.  ) Or, like Holly said, you can try to give her an overview or summary - although I still find that really challenging without going into detail. haha
As for boundaries... That's a tough one. And keep in mind that I also struggle with this stuff. I guess I would say to try to aim for something in the middle. I keep in contact with my teachers from high school, and I still call them Ms. and Mrs., but... It's hard to explain. In some ways, they're still my teachers, but in other ways our interactions are a little more casual than when I was still a student because they're not in a position of authority over me anymore. I don't consider my them my friends - as Holly says, your relationship will probably always be a little uneven because they're older, they were previously an authority figure to you, etc. But you might be able to laugh and joke a little more, and things might feel a little less strict and formal. You're also an adult now, so that can change the dynamic a bit as you're on a bit more of an even playing field than you were before. Where you're just reconnecting with her, however, it might take a little more time to get to that place with her.
As Holly also said, it's a bit more of a "give-and-take" dynamic as well, or at least that's been my experience. When I get talk to my teachers, I try to ask about their lives and their kids, whereas that didn't always happen in school because it was a bit more formal then.
This is all stuff I've been trying to figure out as well, and I'm definitely not always perfect at it. But if you feel comfortable, you can certainly ask her where the boundaries are! Have you emailed her already? How did it go?
I really hope you're doing okay.  Best of luck with everything!
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