[Tigereyes]

These phone and video interviews are so bad for my anxiety. In person interviews are no problem, but phone/video calls are so, so bad.. I don't know how I'll get through this. I don't have any xanax left that I shouldn't have even had access to. I can't get more. I've considered drinking to cope with this--not enough to get drunk, just enough to take the edge off the anxiety--but I'm afraid that it'll show during the interview. So I can't. I have another important call to make today too that might also be an interview or might not. But I can't think about that without panicking, and I have to get through this interview first. I'm losing myself in anxiety. I started getting overwhelmed by grief on top of this. I distracted myself with Netflix, but now the interview is in half an hour and I cna't even prepare for it.