Hey there,

I am sorry that it took a while for you to get a response. It sounds like you are really struggling. Firstly, I want to say that while I know you are hesitant to seek out help it's probably the best thing you can do for yourself. You don't deserve to be feeling this way and if you seek out help you might be able to get to a better place. It's very possible that your medications aren't working correctly and once you fix that issue you could start feeling better. I know how crappy the hospitals are but it could save your life and you deserve to be saved.

Do you know what the triggers are for your depression? Are there things that have occurred to make it worse? It might help if you took some time to journal or blog about what's going on. We have a blog here that you could utilize if you wanted.

Please keep hanging in there and if you need anything please feel free to message me.