[InDig0]

I was out with my friends. I was upset, I had caught my boyfriend at the time cheating on me. I just wanted to forget everything for the night. I just wanted to feel alive. So I drank. And I drank, and I drank. My friends were scared, I could barely walk....they carried me outside and called a family member to come get me.

Her husband showed up. I remember him putting me in the back seat of the car. I don't remember anything else until I suddenly woke on the couch.

He was touching me. My dress was pushed up and he was rubbing me. I laid still just staring at him. I kept thinking, this has to be a dream.

But it wasn't. I jumped up so fast to get away but I was still so out of it from drinking. I fell down. The hard wood floor was so cold. I remember my head bouncing off the floor.

The next morning he acted as if nothing happened. I didn't know what to think or do. I just left.

A few days later I stopped at the house when he was alone and confronted him. He started screaming at me that I asked for it, he said I was begging him for it. He told me he also used his mouth on me before I woke up. He went into detail about it. I can still hear his words. I started crying and asked him how he could do that to me, I'm family and all he kept saying was I wanted it. When I started crying harder he just laughed in my face and said I better not tell anyone.

Well I had a mental break down and finally told his wife. She confronted him and he told her it wasn't true, that I'm a just a slut and I'm horrible to him behind her back and he is the victim.

So his wife begged me not to tell anyone else in the family. She took him to therapy for a little while but he still denied that it happened, he said it was all a lie. She then took him to take a polygraph test asking if he sexually assaulted me and passed.

So I'm very confused, because I woke up and felt him touching me, he then admits to me that he did it and more, yet he passed the test?

This happened 6 years ago, he took the test 4 years ago and since then his wife thinks I'm just supposed to go back to normal and be around him like nothing happened and I can't do that.

I have not spoken to him since it happened, even though he tries talking to me and will smirk at me when no one is looking. I just don't understand why he would do this...this is the same family member who drove to my ex boyfriends house and threatened his life because he found out he forced me to have sex...then he turns around and does this to me, I just can't wrap my mind around it....We were so close. He was my family, I loved him. I told him everything, things I couldn't tell my mom or anyone else in my family. We spent so much time together. It was normal for us to go to lunch together or just hang out and watch a movie together.

I thought it would get easier to get over it with time but it doesn't...

I feel like I don't even know the truth about my own body and that bothers me, it's my body I deserve to know what happened to me. I want to know why he is messing with me like this. I trusted him. I loved him. I hate myself for missing him sometimes after what he did. I just wish I never drank that night. I wish I never got in that car. I wish I never stayed the night there. I wish none of this ever happened. Now my family is no longer my safe haven. I'm always on edge trying to avoid him and ignoring comments from other family members saying I'm immature for not talking to him because his wife said it was over something stupid because people started noticing that I never speak to him anymore but no one actually asks me why.

But it's fine I'll be the black sheep and he can be the victim, but I know the truth.