[Dawn.]

I don't really post much on Teenhelp in regards to how I'm going, simply because I think I have everything under control. This time, however, I feel like I don't. At the same time, I wouldn't say I am losing control as such but I just believe that I'm barely holding on as well.

And it's all down to work. I work with children and have done so for the last 10 years. To put it nicely, I no longer wish to work in this industry anymore because I don't have the passion for the job nor is my wage high enough for my level of experience or for my qualification. I've been trying desperately for a very long time to find another job where I can make more than what I do now. I don't expect to be making a shit ton of money every year (though that would be nice ), I would love to be making enough where I can live comfortably and where I don't have to be working 2 jobs. I often work 6-7 days a week, which is taking a toll on my physical and mental health for obvious reasons and I feel guilty for not spending as much time as I can with my boyfriend or family. I often neglect things that I love to do such as reading and I don't have the motivation to study or spend longer at the gym to complete a proper session. I haven't been eating as well as I should have and I genuinely have been riddled with anxiety and frustration at myself for not being more motivated to do things.