[TH Anonymous]

[SIZE="a"]Hi,

So I'm 26 and never dated before. I have been avoiding it for the longest time. I might also be asexual. I don't know if it is the trauma or I was born asexual or what.

I've had quite some relational trauma from family members to unhealthy friendships, to harassment and assault.

Recently 2 different people from 2 very different parts of my life (live in different cities but I know both in person) reached out to me about setting me up with a guy. It is common in this community for the people to do dating matching which then leads to meeting each other and going on dates.

I declined both opportunities saying I'm not currently looking.

This hasn't been something I considered before. Up until now I was feeling frustrated with myself as though I'm not normal. Even friends have told me not having any desire is not normal at my age.

Part of it is I am too scared to try simply because the longer I go without trying it out, the more awkward I feel and less likely to break out of it and try it. I feel like maybe I could try and see if I want to stop or continue based on experiencing it first. This is a rare moment of me even thinking this way.

I'm thinking next time someone asks, I can have something more to say than "I'm not looking right now".I feel awkward. I have always wanted a platonic life partner and to raise kids with someone. I am just not so sure what I would be looking for.

I am so used to doing thingd on my own. It would take a lot of pressure off if I can be cared for by another human and care for that human. Like planning trips together, sharing values, having someone to talk to. It is strange but it can be nice. I had a roommate for almost 2 years and we were close and now that I moved away things are different. We are still friends, just not seeing each other day to day changes things. It would be cool to have a close friend like that who is within my age group and we are committed to one day living together and supporting one another.

I would want to adopt kids, it is something I have wanted for a long time. But I don't want to be a single mother.

Just assumed it is too late. And I guess you can say I get overwhelmed easily with friendships. I welcome new people but becoming close to someone is what I struggle with most.[/size]