[~Misguided Ghosts~]

Have you told your therapist how far into the planning stage you are? I know you may not want to be hospitalized but it would be a temporary thing to keep you safe and hopefully get you to a better headspace. They can't force you to take meds at the hospital either without a court order, but I don't know the process they'd take to do that since I voluntarily took meds, so I can't guarantee they wouldn't try. They do have patient advocates who you can talk to if they do try to force it upon you.