[Em0bxy]

So yesterday I had social studies in school and the phone rang, I panicked and looked up(reason for panicking: DCF and cops calling us so many times or getting called to the office for an SA report that I always panic now) and the teacher told me I was being dismissed. He had to walk me to the office(504 plan ---> walking to office or any RA/WL/PE class). I told him I didn't know I was being dismissed and he said "I thought you did because you looked up when the phone rang" and I said "It's a trauma response..." and he LAUGHED. Now, I trusted this guy, and now I hate his guts. I was upset all night because I wanted to kill my abusers. I was sexually abused by one of my teachers for about 3 months until I reported it, everyday getting progressively worse, to the point he almost raped me(He touched really close to my VJ one time and rubbed his fingers for a moment and then moved away, he wouldn't have if I was the only kid in the room). He never told me not to tell someone, but as it got worse I was fearing he'd rape me, so I told someone. Then I had to go to the office several times, deal with police, etc. For NOTHING to be done. I told them all the truth, but there was no evidence, I showered every night to get his germs off of me, there's no security footage in classrooms, so guess who has to still be in school with this pedophile. My favorite teacher got arrested for saying something that he didn't. He lost his job, teaching licence, and most of his friends, except us. HE never lost his students. But with the Pedophile, None of that happened. He got interviewed, but never pleaded guilty to anything. We never went to court, nothing was ever done. Resulting in my trauma over phone calls, ESPECIALLY at school. And I got fucking laughed at by a grown ass man. He never knew what it was like to be a 10 year old, worrying that a 60 year old man was about to rape you at any moment. He never knew what it was like to have a trusted teacher ruin every one of your relationships with males. HE NEVER FUCKING KNEW WHAT THAT WAS LIKE. And he has the audacity to laugh at me. ...god I'm so pissed off...