[milo_o]

Originally Posted by Em0bxy

I have been in similar situations before, so I do have some advice. Talk about it. You may want to block it all out and never feel it again, but the flashbacks and anxiety is (unfortunately) part of the recovery. I am so proud of you for making this form. I get it, being SA'd hurts like a motherfucker, but the best thing we can do is share our stories, if not for us, for others like us, it can inspire them to share their stories or have somebody who hasn't told anybody yet, tell someone. Whether it's police, family, friends, a trusted adult. I know it's so hard to relive the same experiences in your head. Something I do when I'm have a PTSD episode is chew something extremely sour or cold. You should try that!

Thank u for the kind words, there's still some other things that happened that I'll one day maybe feel okay enough to share publicly but for now what I've shared already is a good start. I've talked about it with my boyfriend already but talking about the time you were penetratively r**ed despite still being a kid is brutally hard.

I'll keep what you said in mind about the sour chew, my therapist taught me a few things as well to do when I have panic attacks. In my therapy sessions they're called Beruhigungstechniken and I forget the direct translation bc my English sucks, but it's basically techniques to help distract you and take your mind off what is causing you distress and forcing your brain to not be able to concentrate on it. Unfortunately I'm still bad at this so I tend to resort to self harm to calm down partially bc of my BPD but also because it is guaranteed to calm me down from my panic episodes when those techniques I learned in therapy aren't enough.

My therapist wants me to have a benzodiazepine prescription for my panic episodes to take as needed but I don't want to get addicted to them and I take enough meds for my disorders already so I declined getting them. I've taken some before and the euphoria it gave me felt like I was high and I don't want to risk getting hooked on that feeling. But yes sorry I'm kind of rambling, I'm glad you understand my pain, it feels good to have someone who I can talk to and can relate with, though I wish it wasn't trauma that we could bond over. It is very welcome regardless though, thx. c: