[~Misguided Ghosts~]

I know you don't want to end up in the ER, but telling is important. Your family would rather have you alive and receiving help, even if it's from a hospital, versus having a dead child. You're right, it is easier, but you have to put in the work anyway. I'm not saying that you're putting in no effort, but in order to get to a place where suicide isn't the first answer on the table, you have to work for it. I highly recommend a DBT program for helping with this.