[Mindfulness.]

Originally Posted by Proud90sKid

Yes, you absolutely do not want to take the chance and drive and drinking. I got into that habit in 2018 and nothing ever happened so I stopped even thinking much about it. Then one night this past July my left headlight went out and I didnt notice until I was pulled over. Got arrested for DUI. Now my license is suspended, my insurance is probably going to be unaffordable and I may have to sell the car. Not to mention being on probation is going to really suck(cant even use medical marijuana without jumping through a bunch of hoops… also have to agree that you can be searched at any time by your PO). Oh and during the mandatory DUI school, they force almost everyone into mandatory substance abuse treatment. Not saying I dont have a problem, but the court system is not designed to help defendants. Thought I was saving all these years not ubering. Now I really gotta pay. Wasnt worth it. At least I didnt cause an accident while drunk in all of those years. That would have been really bad. Most people caught for DUI have been doing it for a long to very long time before finally getting caught. But it can happen the first time too. Either way, it is an easy thing to mak a habit of if you do start making excuses to drive afte drinking(ie. Im likely over 0.08 but Im not THAT drunk, “it is only a short distance”, “ I may be drunk but I can still drive and Ill just be careful to not get pulled over”, “ I have had a few at home and taking some risk and driving tonight is the difference between a fun night out and sitting in my room alone staring at the wall”). Eventually you get used to driving at least buzzed and stop even making the excuses. Just takes one time to see the blue lights behind you. They only have to get lucky once. I had to get lucky everyday.

Good job on your sobriety. Did you have any cravings when you first stopped? I find this difficult/ almost impossible. I managed to make it one day last day weekend after a recurrence of an alcohol induced illness that Im not supposed to drink with. Then I missed drinking at the bar and thought a beer would not hurt. Do you miss nights out? Like I said, I temporarily got sober in 2020 and although it didnt stick, it was very hard to hear the neighboring bar (which just reopened after lockdown) blasting music. Eventually, I lost my taste for it but then it came back.

In 2018, I managed 6 weeks sober. I thought much clearer- like my IQ was 10 points higher. It really does make you feel better. Do you have plans for remaining sober or are you just taking it on day at a time? 26 days is really amazing. Some otherwise nice people are sitting in jail right now because they cant remain sober for any length of time even on probation that requires you to not drink.

For what it is worth: one thing that really helped the social aspect for me at first was kava bars. Not sure about health effects of kava and kratom, but it helped. Kratom can cause withdrawal if you take it daily though. You can always go and just drink some yerba mate or green tea and nobody will think anything of that. That would be better. I have found it annoying to be at a regular bar drinking non- alcoholic drinks when people around me are getting drunk… for many reasons. I find the drunk people annoying when sober and also have to deny a constant voice in my head telling me to drink.

Yesterday, I kind of relapsed and had about four glasses of wine while I was out for lunch and dinner. Kind of sucked that I didn't last longer. I'm really disappointed with myself but it could of been a lot worse as I was tempted to have more but really stopped myself and stuck to soft drinks.

I had really bad cravings for it at the beginning and it didn't help that I had alcohol at home but it's not the kind that I usually drink. It's kind of like my collectors drinks.

I really, really want to stop completely. I'm just taking it one day at a time.