[Mindfulness.]

Originally Posted by Proud90sKid

Well, looks like I have to be sober now- or at least more sober. Im getting randomly tested for alcohol (via etg testing, which is very sensitive) and other drugs. So I cant drink everyday anymore at least. Would be lying though if I said I didnt have some drinks last week before the weekend when the probation office and testing office is closed. Im not sure if I will continue trying to cheat the system. I had horrible anxiety for days afterwards(and yet a huge temptation to drink anyways- once I start, stopping is hard) because if it shows in a random, I would probably do 30-60 days in jail for violating DUI probation. Also felt super ashamed of myself for potentially squandering the deal that my lawyer won in court. Used to drink 12+ drinks a day and was having repeated and frequent pancreatitis attacks and got very underweight. Not to mention some crazy binges where I was stumbling around over town/crashing my bike(cant drive anymore due to my drinking- so use a bike) and losing/ breaking expensive items in the process. I look and feel much better already even though I did drink heavily late last week. On the other hand, wanting a drink and not being able to have one feels unpleasant, even though it does make drinking much less of an option- except on those Fridays(and maybe Thursdays) where I know I have until Tuesday for a random test. On those days, I feel an incredible fear of missing out- as I know it is the only opportunity that I will have for the coming week. That makes me want to drink more on those days. ETG (ethyl glucuronide) is a minor metabolite of alcohol and only has a half life of 2-3 hours and that gives enough time. It usually only goes back 72-80 hours MAX and that is only if you drank like a handle of vodka or are a slow eliminator. Most pass in 24-48 hours. The paranoia I have after is still there though and hardly feels worth it.

Feels good to have a much needed tolerance break from weed. I cant touch that at all due to the detection window(the metabolite THC-COOH isnt water soluble, unlike ETG). I was doing lots of concentrates and very high dose edibles daily for years. I actually almost entirely stopped smoking much actual flower on the way because my tolerance was too extreme to feel even high potency bud. Needed the concentrated oils to feel it. I havent gone even a week without THC since 2018 or maybe very early 2019. I have abstained for nearly two weeks now and am only starting to get my appetite back. I basically couldnt eat the first week because my natural cannabinoid receptors were so burnt out. I will smoke again when Im off, but less and hopefully will stick to flower and lower potency edibles.

Anyone reading this: do anything you can to not get a DUI. You can't legally drink nor drive if you are caught drinking and driving. You dont want to go through supervised probation (which is restrictive and about half of people fail and have to serve some actual jail time) and all the other bullshit and costs associated with that. I literally need to get expensive FR-44 insurance now just to get my license back in case I ever wanted to rent a car once a year… even if I didnt own a car. Just to have a license and no car to drive, it will cost more than what other people with a car pay for their insurance. If I kept my car… well progressive (one of the most lenient on DUI) quoted me 4300 dollars every 6 months. Almost 9 grand a year. Wont be affording that in the near future. Oh and did I mention you have to pay for the “privilege” of being on supervised probation and also for every drug test they give you? As a bonus, you get barred from entering several countries (ie. Canada) with a US DUI conviction. And for the costs of the court to sentence you? It would suck even more if I lived in Arizona- the strictest in the nation on DUI.

It's good to hear that you do feel better by not drinking as much.

I was EXTREMELY tempted to have a drink as it's my last day of work for just over 5 weeks (it's the summer school holidays here) but rolled through it as I have been 12 days sober.