[~Misguided Ghosts~]

This sounds like a lot to go through. Her threat of killing herself was incredibly manipulative and abusive. I'm sorry you have to go through all of this.

Do you think it's possible to limit/cut ties with your mom while you are in college? Perhaps you can find a future roommate while you are at school, or a job to pay for an apartment. Your mom does not seem like a healthy person to be around so it may help your own sanity if you limit connection.

I do think you should experiment while you're in college though. It's a good time to figure out who you are. Just make sure you are safe, such as using condoms and getting tested for STDs regularly.