[Ballsack]

I'm much closer to my mom's side of the family than my dad's and I've heard about how my aunts and uncles would basically lie and tell my cousin that she's not talented in art even though she literally is just so that she would go to college for accounting and work as an accountant and have a stable job. It's true that she ended up working a very stable and high paying job but I couldn't imagine the depression she must've felt. And how my aunt would drive away her first son from her second son that she had with her new husband because she's scared her first son might be a bad influence to his younger brother. I still remember how happy he was when her brother was born even though they come from different fathers. It's so sad, why is my family like this? It makes my mom look a thousand times nicer.

Lately I've been feeling very lonely and I don't exactly remember why because I go out more than I used to. I go to all sorts of festivals and I even have a tutoring job so I don't understand where this loneliness comes from. Then I remembered that I used to have a group chat, most of the people there are honestly bums that don't give a shit about education or jobs, they care more about art, fashion, and music plus they're fun and they make me feel less lonely. Of course because they're not successful my mom basically terrorised me for a whole week to delete the group chat because they're not good people as my mom put it. And when she was terrorising me, I was in the most stressful week of my life because I had an exam coming up that was important for college. So I ended up caving in and deleting the group chat. It was fine for a while and I forgot about the group chat but sometimes if I feel lonely or just want to talk random stuff to someone I feel lost, like looking around for someone only to find that there's no one there. I don't know if I should get in that group again or not, but it's really depressing because I only have two friends and one don't really care about me as much as I care about her and the other is massively suicidal and honestly not my vibe so I don't feel too comfortable hanging out with him.

My mom can't know that I have this support forum because she would freak and I would end up not having any support system at all