[.KillCasino.]

*cough*
Okay, so I'm so pissed off. Like, really pissed off. All I wanted was a goodbye. All I wanted was for people to read my other thread, and to realise that I was gonna, well, you know. But some blank blank blank has changed the ENTIRE meaning of it, and besides all of that I'M STILL HERE!!! I went to college today, to find out that Media was cancelled and my Art teacher wasn't here either. Sucks...however, with art we have to stay if the teacher is here or not. I didn't though, I mean, I sat there for a while but then I broke down and rushed to the toilets. To escape. To get away. Then, I went to the doctors. They saw me straight away, but I was there for around an hour and a half. So, I have to go back tomorrow...bad times...but ahh well...

I learnt something today. I learnt that, I don't think I can possibly ever be happy. I learnt that I can try, but I'll never truly be normal. I learnt that there is no real definition or normal, but I do feel that I'd like to be normal...Normal to me is basically everything I'm not. My friend today described me as manic depressive, aha...One minute I was on the verge of grabbing the scissors in art and, you know...the next I was real hyperactive. I don't know...I mean...*sigh*

I'm really upset. I can't stop crying. Is it possible to actually run out of tears? *sigh* So I've been stuck with Captain Mong all day, and I've hated it. He didn't let me sleep last night, he took me to the doctors, sat with me, now he's sat opposite me and he keeps staring at me. I just want him to give me space! *sigh*

I'm sick of being the way I am. I'm sick of living, but I'm scared of dying. He attempted to knock sense into me today, he showed me some pretty sick pictures, which have made me shake and throw up. I'm not going to go into detail, but jeez...I never realised...*sigh*