Hello. As the title suggests, I sort of want an eating disorder. It's not about weight; I think it also has very little to do with control. But I can't relax unless I don't eat. Although I don't presently have an diagnosed eating disorder, I can't eat a lot because of my anxiety. Not eating calms my brain; it hurts less. It feels like my brain is being squeezed and it hurts. I haven't eaten since yesterday, and I've been thinking about developing an
ED off and on. I can't express myself because I'm too "weird" or whatever. I have to be acceptable. I can't self harm again, I don't want to.
Sorry if this doesn't make sense. I'm very tired and a little dizzy. I put the triggering thing because I don't know what it's like to have an eating disorder, so I thought I'd just be safe. Thank you for yourself. Helping me.
Edit: My brain's hurting again even though I haven't eaten. I sort of want to puke. Maybe I'm just a little messed up right now. Please don't hate me.
Edit: Please respond. I'm lonely.