[Marguerite]

I guess I haven't really had many friends over my life and the ones I had I drifted away from.

I was depressed for so long and I wouldn't say I'm completely over it or anything but I started school again a few months ago (I'd dropped out for about a year) and things started to feel so much better. There were options, I didn't feel hopeless anymore.

So everything in my life feels new and exciting, except that I'm still alone.

I guess I made some friends (well really a friend and her other friends who I talk too occasionally) at this new school but I really have nothing in common with her or them. I'm quite shy and I feel completely at a loss when having a conversation with them.

I'm not trying to say I'm more mature by any stretch, in fact I wish I was able to have fun and care about the things they care about. But I don't. I hate Lady Gaga. I don't want to talk about guys every 24/7. I don't care about parties or getting drunk.

This is an actual conversation I had the other day:

Girl at school: I hate Chinese people.
Me: Uh, what?!
Girl at school: Haha, I'm really racial.
Me: You mean racist??
Girl at school: Yeah, that thing.

Christ. I'm not saying I'm better than them or anything. We just have different interests. And it's the first friend i've made since probably grade eight.

I have no one to talk too. I spend my weekends alone in my room. I don't have friends and everyone I talk to seems like the complete opposite of me.

How do I get past this??