[PlayingPretend]

I understand that fear. I have a friend whose mother won't let her go on any sort of medication because of the potential side effects, but here's the thing - a lot of the more serious side effects are rare enough that they don't appear in a whole lot of cases (from what I've heard and been told by people on medication and by my psychiatrists). They have to be listed because they are possibilities, but just because something is possible, it doesn't mean it's guaranteed.

Honestly, starting medication could be good for you. Sure, you may run the risk of having some of these side affects you're reading about (they're side affects of many medications), but that doesn't mean they're guaranteed to happen to you or that they're even likely. It really is dependent on the person. What is guaranteed to happen is that you will feel better. Maybe not immediately, but the medication (along with therapy) will start helping you with your anxiety so that you can better manage your daily life.

I tend to look at medication as a crutch, and your doctors are there to help teach you how to use those crutches. I remember when I broke my foot. It wasn't like they handed me a pair of crutches and that was it, no, they held my hand and taught me step by step how to use them and in a myriad of situations. It's similar with medication. Your psychiatrist should be there with you, step by step, to help you go up on doses until you reach the right dose, to manage any potential side affects and so on and so forth.

If you experience a negative side affect, your doctor should be there for you (almost on-call) and many will make themselves as available as they can and provide you with resources in case you can't get in touch with them. Have you spoken to your doctor about a plan should you experience more negative side effects? This might help ease some of your anxiety about going on the medication at all.