[dejaentendu0]

I was in almost the exact situation you're in, except I found out when I was 6 weeks along.

Now, I don't want to pressure you into anything, but have you thought this out fully? I know it's a scary thing and most people want it done and over with fast... but, in my case, I had it done two weeks after finding out. Looking back, I wish I would have given it more time because me and the father would have chosen differently if we had time to let it sink in and think about it more. I didn't realize I wanted my baby until it was too late - I already took the pills and there is no going back. Not after you take the pills and not once that vacuum starts.
I'm not trying to pressure you, as I said, but you're 4 weeks. You can have the the medical abortion up to 7-9 weeks (depending on the place) and an in-clinic up to 13 weeks. I don't know exactly when you found out and how much you've been thinking about this, but if you haven't thought long about it, I think you should sit down and work out if it's really what you want or not before jumping into a decision.
Having a baby and deciding whether or not to keep it is going to be one of the two biggest decisions you'll probably make in your life. Think on it. Make sure it's what you want.

If you are certain you want to go through with the abortion:
You seem to have everything set up with the appointment and all. Do you know what you're getting done yet - the medical or the in clinic? I, personally, had the medical one. As someone that also had one above mentioned, if you do the pill method, make sure you have the pain medication with you. Anti-nausea meds will also be useful. I did mine with neither and it greatly effected my experience because of the pain. IF you're doing this method, take the nausea medication 30 minutes before you take the pills.

If it's the in-clinic, could you find someone to go in the room with you for support? It's scary, but it only takes 5-10 minutes. If you think you'll be bothered because the machine is rather noisy from what I hear, maybe you can ask to bring headphones in and try to distract yourself with music?

Either way, make sure you get antibiotics and take them as directed. You don't want an infection. It's very important you do.

As for after and dealing with grief, it's never an easy thing to go through. You're losing a loved one, a piece of your family. Loss is never easy. But somethings I've found to help me is:

- What do you think it is? A boy or a girl? Name him/her. I know I had dreams before I found out of a boy. I decided to name him James Anthony. It helps to be able to do that sometimes.

- Talk to your baby. Write letters. Talk to your baby when your alone or in your head. I think some people think I'm crazy when I go off talking, but it honestly helps. I've written plenty of letters to him.

- If you feel you can handle having an ultrasound, get one. Carry it around with you. Frame it. Put it somewhere. It can be comforting sometimes.

- On the due date, have some sort of celebration or remembrance.

It's a hard thing to do. I used to think I was crazy for doing all the things I did - following how far along I'd be and talking to him and all. But it's completely normal and encouraged to do so.

Another helpful thing I found is a workbook on post-abortion. There's many places that offer support and help through this, but sometimes it's nice to sit back and reflect on your own as well. Here's the link to the workbook - it really helped me sort through everything:
http://www.pregnancyoptions.info/emo...&spiritual.htm

You seem like a very strong girl in a scary situation. But you'll make it through this. It's hard and life changing, but sometimes you have to sacrifice the thing you love when you know it's for the best - despite how hard it is to do so.
If you ever need help or support, I'm always here to talk.
Best of luck,
Liz. <3