Okay so this is basically two parts. The first is my own experience and the second is a discussion on what books related to
LGBT that you recommend.
Part 1.)
I've been having a hard time posting. Mainly because I'm at home and I don't want to get caught and also because I still feel a tad uncomfortable while not if that makes sense. I've accepted myself for who I am and I'm okay with it except for that stupid voice in my head that tells me every day "I'm gay". I just want it to stop. I know I'm gay but it's like a daily reminder (and no it has nothing to do with being confused.) Ever since I came out to myself I've been the happiest I've ever been in my life. When I lied and pretended that I was straight I was always miserable but not anymore.
Had a weird experience a few days ago. I got a gift card to Barnes & Noble and for some reason I found myself drawn to the women's studies where they had books on lesbianism and what not and I found myself drawn to this one in particular called 'The Best Lesbian Romance.'. I read some of it and was quickly turned on. I kept trying to get away from that section and that book but I found myself drawn to it like 5 times while I was in the store. I ended up getting it (right now I have it hidden in my case with my Bible so that my parents don't see it.) But seriously the whole time and even now it feels like I was/am hiding as something as intense as porn magazines or condoms.
I get that retailers, especially B&N wouldnt' sell this kind of thing if there wasn't a generated interest and that the world has changed. I suppose though that I am familiar with this feeling as that's how it felt when I was getting my first books in regards to self-injury/cutting. It'll just take some time to get used to.
And right now that's not something I'm willing to share with my parents. They're okay with me being gay and have even given me a little leeway (like wearing my cap backwards when going out which they didn't before but they still odn't like it) but I don't want to bring too much gay on them you know, if that makes sense?
~*~*~*~*~
Part 2.)
Anyone got any good book recommendations on the subject whether fiction or nonfiction.