mabye your doctor could offer you something other than pills? i know you dont like talking to adults but telling your parents about tkd and explaining why you dont want to go would be a healthy first step. Dont feel bad about hurting people in tkd, its about learning self defence, its under a supervised environament with trained in structions ( my parents made me go to karate). I know your considering suicide but please don't, there are so many better things you could do. draw, scream,cry,talk,write a poem, keep a diary and every day explain how you feel and compliment yourself on your apperance/something you have acheived/done etc.. punch a pillow, stab an orange. i cut , dont do it. it isn't worht the scars and it can lead to a life long illnes. do your parents know about your disorders? you ned to tell someone. its unfair for you to deal with this all on your own. Youve done a great ahcievement by telling us how you feel but you need to tell someone you trust, someone your close to. i can relate to al your little problems but you need to look at the big picture, in 3 years say your not going to be bothered because 3 years ago you forgot yourr homework or got dumped. these are all thing that happen and you cant let them get you down. admitadley they do build up and you feel like you cant cope, but you can. give yourseelf credit. your stronger than you think.
pm me if you need anything at all. please your precious, dont cut, stop while you can, dont kill yourself instead tell soemone, or try helping someone else whos feling a similar way to you, on here or near you. this could help understand it. if u know why you feel the way you do you can help get rid of those feelings. but you have a medical disorder and although you may hate it now, by telling a resposible adult or taking thos pills your life could be so much better. think about it xxx love pixie.
pm <3