Quote:
Originally Posted by Marguerite
"I was with a guy I know and he put his hand on my leg. I was so shocked I didn't do anything. I froze. I was just preying it would be over."
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No consensual indications were given by the girl, then again, no indications she was not liking it was given. I suppose it's one where you could argue it to be rape but it seems like it's not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marguerite
"I was with a friend and he asked me if I wanted to have sex. I said no, but he told me I'd like it. I told him no again, but he kept asking. Eventually I just gave in and said yes."
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Possibly rape because the girl was "forced" into consenting. I say possibly because the fact she said yes before any physical interaction was forced upon her seems like it was consensual. It seems more like pestering and an inability on her part to forcefully make her statement known. She said "no" and that should have deterred him but the fact it didn't means she should have used force as it was clear saying "no" alone wasn't working.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marguerite
"Me and my ex were hanging out when he started kissing me. I was scared of what would happen if I tried to leave so I just went along with it."
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This seems like the first one where there's too much fear to oppose the actions. I don't consider this one rape either and the fact they were together previously does suggest their previous encounters (assuming they had sex previously) were consensual.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marguerite
It's just that everyone seems to agree that those cases are rape, and it's worrying that a guys life could be destroyed because basically he couldn't read someone's mind.
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Agreed. Cognitive processing of the context and reactions from the partner could be argued as a sign she opposed but especially for the last one where she willingly gives in, it seems difficult for him to know she refused. For the first one, he would have seen her fear and could have stopped, she gave no indication nor attempt to say "no". I suppose her freezing reaction could be taken as a sign she refused.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marguerite
A lot of the 'afraid to leave' stuff seems to be irrational (I'm sure I'd be irrational in that situation too, don't get me wrong). It's not that the guy has a knife, a history of violence, is trying to physically restrain her or anything like that, she just doesn't try and kind of assumes.
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It seems very paranoid on the female's part when they freeze up because no threat was presented yet they perceive it as a threat. For the last one, she didn't perceive the sex to be threatening but his reaction to her refusal as possibly threatening. In that one, I suppose she experienced some form of abuse from him previously to know he may be inclined to be threatening, although her mental processing seems like Murphy's Law.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marguerite
I wonder how these situations would play out if the genders were reversed. They would probably be laughed off the forum.
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Usually they are laughed off. I'm finishing up a course in criminology and one of the textbooks has long interviews with criminals, some of whom were incarcerated for sex crimes such as rape and domestic violence. According to them, they sometimes admitted to engaging in domestic violence however, they also mentioned how it was done to them quite frequently yet they received no sympathy or proper legal attempts. Studies have shown females and males engage in about the same overall amount of violence yet society disagrees and has a skewed idea that women are the helpless damsels in distress while the guy is the big bad wolf in all scenarios.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marguerite
Obviously the variables are going to change in each situation, but I'm specifically talking about scenarios that
a) don't involve a weapon
b) he hasn't made a threat to harm her
c) she hasn't said 'no' or 'stop'
d) she hasn't tried to leave and
e) she hasn't tried to push him off of her or physically stop him from touching her.
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I suppose it'd be difficult for the partner to know she was refusing, especially in the last of the three where she goes along with it without him harassing or pestering her.