[bitesize]

I keep feeling really down and jealous that you're away and having fun... which is stupid, cos that'll be me next week. I think it's because I'm used to knowing every detail of your life and when I don't I feel insecure, which is ridiculous and unhealthy, and odd because it's not that I don't trust you, it's just that I feel sort of....detached from you when I don't know what you're doing. When I write this down I realise how possessive that seems....hmm. :/ I'm just worried that these three weeks apart from each other will affect us, even though they shouldn't, and if they do it's a sign that our relationship wasn't as strong as I thought it was. I think it's good for us to be spending a little time apart and I think it's a wake-up call that I might be getting a little too attached to you, which would be dangerous. So many other couples are spending weeks apart this summer and all they're worried about is missing each other ~ that should be me too. It's partly because I really want to talk to you about that thing and I've been feeling weird about it, and not having you here to talk about it to means it won't go away in my mind. But I don't want to annoy you while you're supposed to be on holiday by talking about it. I didn't expect to feel this way at all, I was genuinely happy that you were going away, because you deserve to have a fun week. And honestly if I feel weird and insecure about spending a week apart from you then that's a sign that my attitude towards this relationship is not 100% well and I need to fix that.
I'm worried that when I talk to you on Saturday we might fight about it and we'll be spending two weeks apart not being able to talk about it face to face.
I'm just worried, that's what it is. I'm worried that things are going to be different after this. I'm just going to feel a little relieved when it's all over and we're both back home and can spend time together again and I can get out of this weird, weird headspace.