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Re: Is my bf gay bi or trans? -
January 29th 2012, 05:26 PM
Hey there,
Like the other posters have said, I would talk to him. In your post, you mentioned that his actions don't make you love him less, which I think is incredibly mature of you.  I would let him know this. It is often harder to open up about such things when you're not sure how the other person is going to react, especially if that person happens to be your significant other. He may be afraid that if he tells you outright that he may lose you. Dressing that way when you go out together could possibly be his way of dropping a hint. However, I can't say for sure as I don't know him.
As for his lack of interest in sex, it's possible that it could be from a history of sexual abuse. Sexual abuse, as I'm sure you know, is extremely traumatizing for people and can indeed lead to a fear of any kind of sexual contact, even if it's with a person they know and love. I can't say if it's an excuse or not, but at this point in time, I would take him at his word and try not to read into it too much. Remember, you can't force him to come out to you or to figure out his sexuality/gender identity. The best thing you can do is to keep communication open. Let him know that if there's anything you can do to make sex easier or more enjoyable for him, you'd like to know. Also, try to encourage him to get help for his past experiences if he was sexually abused.
Be a constant support for him and you may find that he ends up feeling safe enough to come out to you if that is the case.
I hope this helps!! Take care!
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