[WhySoSerious?]

I hate you. You fucking bitch. I NEVER ASKED TO BE BORN! You put me in this fucking life and emotionally abused me for 15 years, I tried so hard to make you like me when I was little! I used to agree with you on EVERYTHING just because I thought it would make you stop yelling at me for once.

I'm afraid to die, but I hate being alive and knowing that someday I won't be here anymore, I wish I hadn't been born in the first place. Why did you have me? You never loved my dad and you've never loved me, so what was the point of bringing me into this fucked up world? You told me to cut myself deeper and put myself in the hospital, why give birth to me if you don't want me? Are you disappointed that I'm not enough like you, that I'm not perfect. Or are you Jealous because I'm half your age and still smarter than you?

I hate you I hate you I hate you! Sometimes when you are out at 3 AM and you said you'd been home at 12, I'm not even sad when I think that maybe you died in a car accident.

Fuck you! You don't need me around because you finally have one child who you ACTUALLY love. I've never ONCE seen you raise your voice at my brother, when I was his age, you never talked to me or spent time with me unless you were grounding me or screaming at me? Am I so much worse than he is? He's made the same mistakes I did as a kid! Or is he just different because he's more like you? And because he actually has friends in his school and doesn't come home everyday crying.

You never were a mother to me. You never once hugged me when I came home in tears, or even when you made me cry! You never even apologized if you brought it to the point where I was in tears! In fact, you just told me to suck it up, or to stop fucking crying! Or you would look at me like I was disgusting and mock me about having emotions! Now you wonder why I'm cold to you? YOU STILL DO IT. It's exactly the same as it's been my whole life, if not worse, because now I'm old enough that I can "take it" It still affects me. But now, I don't show a drop of emotion around you.

You've tried to control me my whole life! You've always hated my friends! No matter who I picked, you STILL don't like some of my friends now! You banned me from hanging out with some kids and got mad when I still did, do you know how HARD it is to just drop your old friends and make new ones? I WAS 11 YEARS OLD, ALL I WANTED WAS TO BE ACCEPTED.

And now you hate my boyfriend. Why? He's fucking nicer to me and treats me better than ANYONE has in my life. He makes me feel like I'm worth something. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO NOT WANT ME SPEAKING TO HIM. Or do you just HATE that once in a while I feel like I'm worth something? That I'm a real person, and that SOMEONE can actually give a damn about me.

YOU ARE THE REASON I CUT MYSELF. You know that? You couldn't even SAY anything when I was taken to the hospital, you scolded me for acting cheerful when I was trying to hide my anxiety and not cry. The only words you said to the doctor were "I don't... LIKE that she's hurting herself" but you were still looking at me, giving me that look you give me when you want to scream at me. And now you still have the nerve to tell me "I'm not as depressed as I THINK I am" Tch. Fuck you.

Oh, and one more thing. I LOVED DARCY MORE THAN YOU. She wasn't even my REAL mom, and I hardly ever saw her, but she treated me better than you, she spent time with me and she talked to me. Never once did she yell at me, even if I was misbehaving, she calmly told me to stop. She treated me like I was a human.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE. I'm leaving as soon as I can, and I'm NOT coming back! I'll go to England, Japan, Australia, but NOT anywhere near YOU. All I'll miss when I'm gone is gran and grandpa.

FUCK YOU! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! JUST GO TO HELL!