it could be binge eating disorder ( thats what it sounds like to me ) but i cant diagnose you.
dont hate yourself. its the worst resort. i know its hard to see sometimes, but you really do have good qualities. everyone does. the guilt and self-hatred could lead to SERIOUS problems(depression, self-harm, and possibly eventually suicide) and its NOT good.
this is gonna be a little hypocritical of me, but i do think you should talk to someone. i KNOW how hard this can be... i myself never had the guts to get help. but you CANT get better without professional help. dont find out the hard way. i know it sucka and its terrible, but if theres no one you trust, try a school counselor. theyre there for that! and at least for me, its easier to talk to someone who i barely know. because they dont know me enough to judge me. she'll tell your parents, maybe reffer you to a specialist. you could see a nutritionist... find out how to keep your mind off of food, and eat the right things for your body ...
you shouldnt have to do this alone, and you dont! i know its tough to talk... but its the only thing that can help you. i myself am walking into school tomorrow, going straight to a counselor, and saying "i purge. can you help me?" and although i'll probably be terrified and trembling, its what i've gotta do . i need to do ehats best for me, just as you need to do whats best for you. it wont "just go away"
i'm so sorry you have to go through this. please please PLEASE work on getting healthy. you can do it. please. i really do care... because i know what its like to hate yourself. and have no control over your eating habits .
it sucks right now, i know .
PM me anytime for support. i believe in you !
*BIIIIGG hugs !*
good luck