I am an emergency medical responder with a volunteer fire department in my area. Back in February I was coming home from my night class, and there was a wreck, so I stopped to see if I could help. It didn't look bad, so I did not properly prepare mentally for what I was going to see. He was trapped, and all I could do was ask what hurt. He said my chest louder and louder until he was screaming it, and he continued to scream until he was given meds. The young man would manage to sit up every now and then, and he would make eye contact with me, and with the way he looked at me I knew he wanted me to help him. I knew this young man; we went to school together. He passed away at the hospital. I have lost a lot of sleep over this and developed a severe case of anxiety. Any time I hear sirens or see the red or blue lights, I panic- my heart races, my chest feels tight, and I get short of breath. I have to pass the wreck site every time I leave my home which sets my emotions off. I have seen a councilor, but I haven't improved. If anything, I've gotten worse. To top it all off, I am an EMT student. I have even started to feel this way in class, and I don't know where to turn anymore. My grief is overtaking me.
