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Le Papillon Offline
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Name: Samuel
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Points: 35,189, Level: 27 Points: 35,189, Level: 27 Points: 35,189, Level: 27
Join Date: August 24th 2009

Re: Drowning (a poem I wrote. Need advice) - June 10th 2012, 11:11 PM

i think this is good, but i feel that it could use more to it. the lines are short, which in some places work well, but i just think that it could use a little more meat. thats just my opinion though.


formerly snowstorm, GoneBeyondRepair, and Breathless in Love
Repose en Paix, Grandad/mom H., Sito, Nay, Mary, Aunt S., Peter, Katie, Lexi, Mrs. Radoye, Mandii, Trevor, Megan, Uncle T., Erika, Aunt R., Braxton, Connie, Adam, Grandpa, Buttons, Aunt Barb, Pi, Grandma ♥
The world will bleed its bloody tale. People will throw their stones. But the one thing you must always remember is:
You no longer walk alone.
-Blake Bliss