[escape_thereal_world]

Have you considered counseling? It is so hard not having anyone physically to speak with, however I found that counseling really help and my school had a licensed professional come to the school and we would get called out of study hall or home room to speak with her for free. I was able to talk to her about self harm without her alerting my parents, unless I was doing it a lot or more than usual or had a plan for suicide.

Also, I can understand not wanting to trigger your friend and not wanting to leave your boyfriend hanging on an important issue. However, one thing I do if I have a conversation that might be cut short is that I say, "Look, I need to talk but first I need you to know that I'm going to be okay, even though I don't really feel like it at the moment." Then continue to explain what is wrong.

Granted, if you are having suicidal thoughts, then this may not be true for you. But do let him know at least, "I feel pretty bad, but would rather spend this time talking to you about something else. But keep me in mind?" That way he knows something is up, and will keep you in his thoughts Might help you to think about that as well!

Also, any organizations, volunteer opportunities, or school groups or activities are options. I wish I had done more when I was in school! Provides more people to meet and talk to, and gives you things to do to find hobbies ,looks good for college and on resumes, and keeps you great distractions!