[maconnors]

Originally Posted by Maverick.

First and foremost, welcome to TeenHelp.

Thanks for the welcoming.

Originally Posted by Maverick.

You need to calm yourself down. Having all of these undecided feelings are not healthy. Do you have a hobby? Drawing, writing, exercising, singing? You need something to mediate yourself. If it seems that things aren't going the way you want them to, just take a few moments and do something you enjoy doing. I do not want you to have a panic attack of anything of that sort.

I apologize if I seem as though I am not calm. This is the first time I've been completely 100% honest about my use of marijuana use throughout high school. I won't have a panic attack. Then again, I believe I've never had one. Perhaps, I've never acknowledged to having one. I have many hobbies, which include: Basketball, Programming, Gaming and Working out. I would say taking a few moments to enjoy something I like to do isn't the wisest choice of action. I have been doing nothing but what I like to do for the past 4 and a half years. I think I need to do some real soul searching which is what your simple post is making a hell of a lot easier to do.

Originally Posted by Maverick.

Accepting your marijuana addiction is already a good first step. But what I can't seem to understand is you say your addiction keeps flip flopping. It seems the initiative to stop the addiction is there, but relapse is bound to happen. Wether you decide to go into rehab is your decision.

I never claimed to having a marijuana addiction. I simply used it as a heading because my parents are convinced I have one. I stated that because I can go throw life with or without marijuana I don't think I am addicted. I feel as though the fact that I can take a month off marijuana and feel same as the month I am is proof that I am not addicted. After watching "The Union" and several other pro-pot youtube videos I noticed one common re-occurrence. That is the lack of ability for your body to develop the frontal cortex. The frontal cortex is responsible for "executive functions of the frontal lobes involve the ability to recognize future consequences resulting from current actions, to choose between good and bad actions (or better and best), override and suppress socially unacceptable responses, and determine similarities and differences between things or events. The frontal lobes also play an important part in retaining longer term memories which are not task-based. These are often memories associated with emotions derived from input from the brain's limbic system. The frontal lobe modifies those emotions to generally fit socially acceptable norms." - wikipedia[dot]org/wiki/Frontal_lobe#Function
(I know, shame on me for using wiki as a resource)

After finding out this information, I don't want to be smoking marijuana until my body and brain are fully developed. I simply hope that the months of not smoking marijuana has at least done something to help with the development of my frontal cortex. :#

Originally Posted by Maverick.

Maybe understanding that many jobs drug test for marijuana. If you continue habitual marijuana use, finding a part time job whilst going to school might be an issue.

I live in Canada. The only jobs that test for drugs are government jobs. It won't be an issue. Perhaps, OSAP does drug tests on people they loan money to. That would be an issue. That would suck, if I don't get OSAP, I would have to pay for the apartment and my day to day life using emergency savings instead of steady payments from OSAP.

Originally Posted by Maverick.

In addition, stop comparing yourself to others. Just because person A and person B is doing that, doesn't mean you should. If these people aren't friends and family who truly care about you, who gives a shit?

I disagree with this statement entirely. I also believe that this statement has no place as a reply to anything I have said. The only comparison I have made is between "a loser who never graduated high school, gets high off any drug he can get and works at McDonald's" and what I wanted to be. I'm going to give a shit if a (completely hypothetical) 300lbs body mass builder says to smoke this joint or he'll beat the shit out of me. Im going to skip on the pain train. I agree that what friends and family say is more important but you still have to give a shit what the randoms are saying. You never know how people are going to react to what you do and that can be scary. I understand that people will try to drag me down in life, but not giving a shit isn't the answer. The answer is to see past that and move on with your life. If you were making reference to MH or RN vs me, then I think you may of misread something. I didn't compare myself to them once.

Originally Posted by Maverick.

You have a big list of priorities that you need to solve and sort out for yourself. At the end of the day, you are an adult. You are responsibile for your own choices. You don't have to do anything that you don't wish to do, but just remember unwise choices will come back to haunt you.

Yes, I do have a big list of priorities. No, I do not need to solve and sort it out myself. Help will always be there, you just have to know where to look. I know, I am an adult and am responsible for my own choices. Why do you think I'm attempting everything I can to make an informed life choice?. Do you think I want a petty tear? a pat on the back? A boo hoo? for sharing my story with you? I am trying my best to make an informed decision. Giving a shit is the least I could do.

Originally Posted by Maverick.

I myself was a marijuana user. But I noticed the people I would toke with are homeless hippies, in jail, or they are drifters.

<sarcasm>Generalizations, cool.</sarcasm> I noticed the people I would burn with have jobs, attend college, own a car and have a good time on weekends with an illegal substance that is actually good for you when you are fully grown. Now that I know it is not healthy for adolescents to smoke, I'm going to stop and pass the word on to my friends.

Originally Posted by Maverick.

If you make six figures, have a nice lifestyle and career, it seems they can smoke whenever they want. But with you being young, maybe you should really think about this addiction.

I would appreciate it if you would stop generalizing. It is not the cool thing to do. Its not an addiction. No, you don't have to make six figures or have a "nice career". Its not even about a "nice lifestyle". Its about making healthy decisions in life. At my current age it isn't healthy to smoke marijuana. If I had known this when I first tried smoking, I would of never done it.

Originally Posted by Maverick.

If you have any questions please reply or send me a pm.

Thanks for the reply. I will always appreciate someone taking time out of their day to try to help me out.

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I guess this shifts the focus of this thread to how to prepare for the conversation with my parents stating that I will not be attending rehab and I refuse to smoke MJ anymore. It isn't going to be a walk in the park. They are not just going to believe every word I say and reply "Oh good job, Mark! You've been struggling with this "problem" for quite a long time now! Now you are finally in control!"

Is there ways to test my blood/urine/hair for marijuana that I can purchase online or at the doctors? Will I have to visit the doctor regularly in order to checked? The reason why I bring up getting checked, is that once the weed is out of my system, my parents or doctor would be able to easily tell if I was smoking again. It would be very easy to tell my parents that I'm not going to rehab, I'm not smoking up anymore and this is how I believe we should proceed.

I believe this would be a pretty good way to proceed. Any other ideas, add-ons, etc. would be greatly appreciated. Do not be afraid to post! :P