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Edit avatar · 05:08 PM

Hello,

well umm I don't really know what to say since about year 6-7 I used to make myself throw up and it continued to years 8-9 its stopped now I managed to pull myself out and stop skipping lunch and eat and thinks felt a lot better espically in PE.

But then over the past couple off weeks thinks seemed to have gone down for me and Its all out of control, I feel like I have no control. Now I'm eating but more than usual so now I feel bad and fat because I used to weight around --- and well last time I checkded and that was in December so now I feel triple that.

When I look in the mirrior my friends say I have one off those carnaval mirriors, where you look super big and even thought I have a normal mirror they say that when ever I call myself fat. However as I look into it and I see myself and look suprise that I haven't gone through the floorboards. I don't want to start again, my mum knows all about my Previous histroy.

She thinks I feel like this when something bad happens or when I feel bad in general

she thinks its away for me to shift the guilt in my stoumach, as sick so I think its gone. I don't know if I'm crazy but I want to start again. As right now I feel that everything is going down hill. I'm sick and tired of everything I just want it all to go away. I feel as soon as I open on door to happiness there are another 10 come out off no where for me to unlock.

I don't know if something is wrong with me or am I just stupid

I just need help.
Nico x