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-   -   Triggering (Suicide): I wanna kms. (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f11-depression-suicide/t163900-i-wanna-kms/)

awfullhurt April 1st 2023 08:46 PM
I wanna kms.
 
Hello I am 16 years old. I started gambling my own money which I made online ever since I was 13. I have been gambling for 3 years non stop. Past month has been more brutal than the others, am down 30k of my own money. Fortunately, I have not stolen or used any money from my parents to afford this addiction however every time that passes I regret my life even more as I have lost around 100k which could have gotten me out of my shithole. I also have no social life and often go through weird feelings on my stomatch. I have absolutely no one to talk to and figured I'd use this. I feel sadness /numbness and an urge to get a girlfriend that can support me emotionally with same interests as me . I feel tired constantly, my grades are complete shit and I barely make any money online anymore which is basically what used to interest me back when I was young. Honestly it is not gambling my main problem but the fact that I have no emotional support from anybody who's in my age who is also like me. It feels as if I will never be able to find somebody with same interests as me and i struggle to make connections with new people. I have been thinking to suicide for the past 6 months ( constantly ) and I feel as if I will for sure be gone within the next 3 years. I am very interested in criminal activities and wish to find a girlfriend with similar interests . I watched a show about a year which am madly obsessed with , nothing compared to murdering, mostly online fraud (extracurricular ). Idk why the fuck but I just feel like I need a girlfriend, my brain interprets emotional support with a girlfriend. I cant think of having a friend that can help me emotionally. I dont know what's wrong with me, I wanna die am tired af. That's it lmk if u can help me I need a reason to live .

Ennui. April 1st 2023 11:34 PM
Re: I wanna kms.
 
Hey,

I first want to say that none of this makes you a bad person. Gambling is definitely an addiction that a lot of people face, and it can be hard to break. You definitely have to be ready to make the change, but it can be possible to break the addiction. I know it's not as easy as deleting any gambling apps or blocking the websites from your browser. Is there anything you can do with your time instead of gambling, especially when you get the urge to do so? Even if it's just taking a walk so it's not as easy to gamble, replacing the gambling with other activities can help.

As far as finding people with common interests, I can't encourage illegal activity or anything like that and it may be hard to find people who are openly interested in that. But, do you have anything else you are interested in, such as video games or sports? There may be clubs or social groups in school or around town where you can find people who share healthy interests with you that you can eventually build a connection with. It's possible that someone will even turn into a potential romantic interest. However, I will say you can't rely solely on someone else for your happiness, as that will only lead to more hurt and heartbreak in the long run, for both parties involved.

I will honestly say that I think therapy could be very beneficial for you, not only for the gambling and suicidal ideation, but in general. A therapist specializing in addictive behaviors may be especially useful due to the issue with gambling, but a general therapist likely has some experience as well. The reason I say that is because some of the activities you are engaging in can be dangerous and life-altering in general, so it's best to try and nip those in the bud before there are serious consequences. They can help you change your thought patterns and help you develop different coping mechanisms that you can use when you are faced with difficult situations.

Sometimes we have to live for the small things. It can be something simple like a nice summer day or treating yourself to your favorite food. Let the small positives accumulate, because bigger things are coming your way. When we get into a rut like this it's easy to think that we will never dig ourselves out of that hole, but things can't stay bad forever. Our brains like lying to us and saying that things will stay bad forever. With effort, you can get through this.

awfullhurt April 2nd 2023 06:10 AM
Re: I wanna kms.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ennui. (Post 1386371)
Hey,

I first want to say that none of this makes you a bad person. Gambling is definitely an addiction that a lot of people face, and it can be hard to break. You definitely have to be ready to make the change, but it can be possible to break the addiction. I know it's not as easy as deleting any gambling apps or blocking the websites from your browser. Is there anything you can do with your time instead of gambling, especially when you get the urge to do so? Even if it's just taking a walk so it's not as easy to gamble, replacing the gambling with other activities can help.

As far as finding people with common interests, I can't encourage illegal activity or anything like that and it may be hard to find people who are openly interested in that. But, do you have anything else you are interested in, such as video games or sports? There may be clubs or social groups in school or around town where you can find people who share healthy interests with you that you can eventually build a connection with. It's possible that someone will even turn into a potential romantic interest. However, I will say you can't rely solely on someone else for your happiness, as that will only lead to more hurt and heartbreak in the long run, for both parties involved.

I will honestly say that I think therapy could be very beneficial for you, not only for the gambling and suicidal ideation, but in general. A therapist specializing in addictive behaviors may be especially useful due to the issue with gambling, but a general therapist likely has some experience as well. The reason I say that is because some of the activities you are engaging in can be dangerous and life-altering in general, so it's best to try and nip those in the bud before there are serious consequences. They can help you change your thought patterns and help you develop different coping mechanisms that you can use when you are faced with difficult situations.

Sometimes we have to live for the small things. It can be something simple like a nice summer day or treating yourself to your favorite food. Let the small positives accumulate, because bigger things are coming your way. When we get into a rut like this it's easy to think that we will never dig ourselves out of that hole, but things can't stay bad forever. Our brains like lying to us and saying that things will stay bad forever. With effort, you can get through this.
Thanks for reply appreciate it


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