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Scared of what the doctor might tell me

I was diagnosed with depression 10 years ago and have been in and out of therapy since.

When I started university I just wanted a new life. I wanted to be happy. I don't want to sound melodramatic but I just wanted to be normal. No anti depressants, no weekly visit to the psychiatrist and psychologist etc.

And I was happy for a while. I came off my anti depressants and so there was like a month or so a year and a half ago where I struggled with my depression. But for a long time I was really enjoying myself. My social life was amazing, my university work was going well.

But since my second year has started I've been on a rollarcoaster. My mum has bipolar and if I'm honest with you I think I may be suffering from it. I know I could just go to the doctor but I'm scared they'll say that I have bipolar. I don't want to be the freak with the mental illness (no offence, it's just how I would be scared I'd be labelled). At the same time if I go along and they say it's not bipolar and just your standard run of the mill mood swings and depression then it's likely I'll be put back into therapy or back onto anti depressants.

I don't want to be a part of the mental illness cycle. My mum is, my dad is.. I can't be like them :/

Re: Scared of what the doctor might tell me

Just because you go back, and they do re-diagnose you with depression, or anything else for that matter, it does not mean that you have to take the medication. There are other forms of therapy out there that are worth looking into. You can go, and find out what is going on, but you don’t have to take their course of treatment. Knowing what is going on might reduce your stress level, just getting answer will help. What you do with that answer is up to you; don’t feel pressured to go back onto the medication. You are an adult and you can decide what is best for you.

Re: Scared of what the doctor might tell me

Hey there,

I know exactly how you are feeling. I remember when I first really noticing that things were not going good for me and that I needed to seek help I didn't want to because I knew they would want to put me on medicine.

I was against medicine because of a lot of my family's view on it and I didn't want society to label me. However, I knew getting help was more important and so I went and talked to someone. They did end up putting me on meds but they went really slow with it and now about 2 years later I am making the decision that meds are not the right thing for me and I am working with my doctor to get off meds.

So, even if your doctor were to put you on meds after you were more stabilized for a certain amount of time you could consider going off of it.

Also, Lizzie is right, there are other options besides medicine. The thing is you have to communicate to your doctor the fact that you do not want to be on medicine. Doctors try and listen to what their patients want because they know that the patient knows themselves best.

So, go in to your doctor and make sure they understand what is going on. Don't turn away from the help you can get because of medicine because if your doctor knows this I am sure he/she will try their hardest to keep you off of medicine.

Lastly, if you were to be put on medicine no one would have to know. If someone saw you taking pills you could tell them it was for your 'asthma' or something else. You do not have to tell people that you are struggling with this until you are ready. And, to be honest, more people understand where you are coming from when it comes to dealing with depression.

Please hang in there and if you ever need to chat feel free to pm me.

Jenna

Re: Scared of what the doctor might tell me

you're not like your parents just because you have something they do. And so what if you're bipolar or depressed? My brother is same rare thing of bipolar, and i have depression. Neither of us are on meds. I struggle with it everyday, I don't know about him. But I get through it. You have friends that care about you, I'm sure about that even if I don't know you. Everybody has at least 1 person they can talk to about almost everything. But you should't be afraid to find out something that seems to be affecting you so strongly.