TeenHelp - friend cutting

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- - friend cutting (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t126174-friend-cutting/)

I have two very close friends, and we do pretty much everything together. One of my friends has had a few minor problems in the past - staying up really late and not sleeping enough, not eating very much (but she says she eats if she's hungry), being stressed out by too many after-school activities. Today at lunch though, my other friend noticed cuts on her wrists. i didn't get this at first - they pretty much stood in the bathroom and talked about it during lunch. but i heard bits of their conversations later, and from what they were saying it was pretty clear that she was cutting. i heard her tell my other friend that sometimes she wanted to stop, but usually she didn't get what was wrong with it. should i tell her i heard this conversation when i shouldn't have? and what can i say to her to make her realize that she shouldn't be doing this?

Re: friend cutting

Hey there,

I think that it would be okay to talk to your friend about this. You can ensure her that the reason you heard it was completely accidental since you were in the same room rather than because you were eavesdropping, if that makes you feel better.

But, if you talk to her, maybe you can let her know that you really are worried about her. Let her know how much you care about her and tell her that if she ever needs someone to talk to about what is going on, that she can come to you and you will listen to her.

You can also let her know that self harm doesn't really solve any of the problems but can add more like having to hide the injuries from those she doesn't want to know, and that there is always a risk of infection. If you want, you can give her this alternatives list. These are better ways to cope.

Also encourage her to seek help. You can let her know you're not going to force her into it, but explain how someone like a guidance counselor, teacher, school nurse, doctor, club adviser or coach, religious leader, or family member, can really help her cope with the things going on or solve some of the problems.

If you ever think that she is in any serious danger that threatens her safety, do report it so she can get help.

You're a great friend for caring so much!

-Dez

Re: friend cutting

Thanks for the advice. I'll join the conversation when it comes up (my friends aren't the type to not bring that up). The weird part is, she says she isn't depressed about anything and that she wasn't doing it to cope with something, she said she just sort of ends up doing it. and she's always seemed cheerful, she has a lot of friends, and does extremely well in school - straight As, all advanced classes, applying for top school in the state. It was really a surprise because of all this.

Re: friend cutting

Cutting is a dangerous and bad habit, I used to do it... I ended up in the Hospital. It's really scary and not fun at all, plus it can leave horrible marks that are permanent. Yes, try to talk to your friend about quiting.

Re: friend cutting

I think it would be okay to tell her that while you were in line you over heard them talking and you didn't mean to easdrop but you caught there conversation.

I think you should talk to her and tell her that you care about her and that she can always come to you when she feels like cutting. I would reassure her that your not mad at her and that she won't loose you as a friend your just concerned about her.

You can express your feelings on how you feel but just know cutting is very hard to stop and if she isn't ready to stop you can not force her to stop. Cutting is a very addictive thing like drugs. All I can say is tell her your thoughts and concerns and go from there. And just be supportive.