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-   -   Should I tell a teacher about self harm (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t126641-should-i-tell-teacher-about-self-harm/)

Stay_strong_and_weird December 13th 2013 03:22 AM

Should I tell a teacher about self harm
 
Selh harmed for a few years ago but recently i started cutting again.so I was wondering if I should tell one of my teachers and what they may do.my parents know already so I'm not really scared about that and should I also do it face to face or through email

Ennui. December 13th 2013 03:34 AM

Re: Should I tell a teacher about self harm
 
Hi there,

I think that it is really awesome that you are considering telling a teacher, and I think you should go ahead and do it! A teacher can be a great person to talk to about these things because they can really give you a lot of support and advice, or I think at the very worst they'd probably refer you to the school guidance counselor (who is still a good person to get support on). But, more than likely, they will be willing to give you support.

Under normal circumstances, teachers are mandatory reporters, meaning that if you mention that you self harm they have to tell, so be sure you explain to them that your parents already know you self harm. If you have any fresh cuts they may or may not send you to the nurse, just to make sure they're healthy. When I was sent to the nurse for some fresh ones, she basically asked me what I used to do it and put Bacitracin and a Band-AID over it.

There are different ways you can tell a teacher. Of course, the first way would be face to face. You can approach them before or after school or that individual class, or during a study hall or period that you know the teacher has free. Then, be open and honest with what you feel they should know. It may help if you plan out what you are going to say before you go in there so you know the key points you want to cover, such as you self harm and your parents do know but you felt as if you should get additional support, so you came to them.

Another option is writing a letter or email (if you are sure the teacher checks their email, some teachers are better at this than others, but if you don't think they check it often a letter would be better). This option allows you to get everything out that you want to say without nerves and interruptions getting in the way. Again, tell them everything you would want them to know in this letter. Then, deliver it. If it's an email it's as easy as pressing send, but if it's a physical letter you can hand it to them, drop it on their desk if you're sure they'll see it and nobody else will, or put it in their mailbox if they have one in the office. They'll still want to speak to you face to face at some point but at least everything will be out already.

I kind of combined the letter option with the face-to-face option when I told my guidance counselor about self harm. I wrote a letter and handed it to her personally. I then sat there when she read it and then we discussed at the same time. So this is an option too.

So, either face to face or a letter is fine really, do whichever makes it easier for you to get everything out and get the best support! Either way I bet the teacher will try to help you to the best of their ability.

They'll probably ask you questions to get a better understanding, and give support and advice based off of that.

Brilliant idea to tell your teacher, you definitely should get the support from a trusted teacher. :)

-Dez

ElsatheDepressionSlayer December 13th 2013 10:55 PM

Re: Should I tell a teacher about self harm
 
I think you should definitely tell a teacher. Most of them are pretty well-equipped to talk about these sorts of things.

Dez pretty much said everything in her post, but I just want to add this: My dad's a teacher and he says that students come to him with their problems all the time. There are more of your peers going through rough times than you would think, so teachers know how to handle these situations.

Stay_strong_and_weird December 14th 2013 02:15 AM

Re: Should I tell a teacher about self harm
 
Thanks guys

Stay_strong_and_weird December 14th 2013 02:20 AM

What to say to a teacher about self harm
 
How to tell a teacher you self harm and how will they react.Btw I'm 13, I'm in HS and I live in AUS

Ennui. December 14th 2013 02:56 AM

Re: What to say to a teacher about self harm
 
Hi there,

I'm going to be merging this post with "Should I tell a teacher about self harm" in just a moment because this seems as if it would be an additional question that could be added on to that. If you have any questions, PM me!

I think that the best plan of action would be to just be straightforward and honest with them. You can tell them in multiple ways such as a letter or verbally.

But, try and think through what you want to say before you say it. For example, of course, one thing you would want them to know is that you self harm. Do you feel as if they should know why you self harm? If so, tell them. Also tell them what you would need from them, such as ways they can help or support you through this. Basically, anything you want them to know, tell them.

The teacher will have to react professionally, meaning they won't blow up on you or anything like that. More than likely they will act calm but will show that they are concerned and do care. They may want to refer you to someone like a guidance counselor or school nurse, just to make sure you are getting an adequate amount of support, but I'm sure if you asked you could still go to them when you need someone.

Best of luck!

DeletedAccount32 December 14th 2013 11:45 AM

Re: Should I tell a teacher about self harm
 
Hey there,

I wanted to give my two cents on this issue, as this is something that I did. When I was 16 and a sophomore in high school, I told my history teacher about my self-harm. And honestly, it was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. She reacted very well and was extremely caring, asking me if I was okay and wanting to help in any way she could.

As it's been said, teachers are usually required to tell someone if they think a student's safety is at risk. In my case, it was my guidance counselor who was told, and he reported it to my parents. But don't let this deter you from confiding in a teacher. It's not like my teacher just told someone and left me hanging; she accompanied me to the guidance office, where we talked about my self-harm and what the appropriate next step was. She and my guidance counselor then told me how proud they were of me for coming forward with something so difficult. All-in-all, it was just a nice experience and definitely not one that I regret. I'm 20 now and I still keep in touch with this teacher and let her know how I'm doing from time-to-time. Despite the fact that I graduated from high school about a year and a half ago, she still cares about me as much as she did back when I was one of her students.

In terms of what method to use in communicating with this teacher, I would recommend either face-to-face or through a letter. I sent my teacher an initial email asking to talk to her after class one day but didn't include any details, and then gave her a letter the next day. The reason I don't recommend email is that school emails may not be confidential, so there is the possibility that someone (such as a school administrator) could find out about it. That could just be me being paranoid, but I personally don't like to take any chances. So I'd definitely recommend a letter if face-to-face is too hard. :)

Best of luck! Be sure to let us know how it goes!!

EmilyWilliams2001 December 14th 2013 12:08 PM

Re: Should I tell a teacher about self harm
 
Yes! You really should tell a teacher, Better you do it than they find out in different ways.

Congratulations on finding the courage to do it!! Stay strong because I know you can make it!!


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