TeenHelp - Non-PG13: self harm because of abuse? help please?

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self harm because of abuse? help please?

Hi,

This is my first post to this site,

I was abused by my step dad for about 5 years until last year when I spoke about it, I'm now 17.

I have been having panic attacks all year and feeling pretty rubbish. My mum left after I told her and I haven't seen her since so I live with my dad, he's great.

I started smoking I don't know why, now I have started cutting, and I still don't know why.

I feel crap and lonely.

Thanks for reading.

Re: self harm because of abuse? help please?

Hey, there, welcome to Teen Help! :)

People react in certain ways to trauma, and yours is to begin cutting and to smoke. I'm sorry your mum walked away when you told her, but maybe it's because she couldn't believe what she was hearing? When an adult hear their significant other molested someone, whether it's a stranger or a relative, they react in different ways. Try to reach out to her, get her to listen to you. Also, don't be afraid to talk to someone about this. Punishing yourself by cutting and smoking won't help you in the long run. If you have any questions or need extra help, don't be afraid to ask any one of us on TeenHelp. :)

We want to see you be successful, make those who matter in your life proud of you. :)

Re: self harm because of abuse? help please?

Hey and welcome to TH!

Sorry to hear about what you have been through.

As Bex said, it can be hard for parents who hear about what happened to their child. It doesn’t make what your mum did right, but it might help to explain that maybe she is just having trouble dealing with things too.

Do you have anyone to talk to about this? Dealing with trauma on your own, can be difficult and many people have different ways of trying to cope with all the feelings and memories. I don’t know if you’ve seen this, but we have an alternatives to self-harm thread that you might find useful: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t9418-alternatives-self-harm/

Panic attacks can also be hard to deal with. When you have one, try to calm your breathing and remind yourself where you are, and that you are safe.

Since you are feeling low and having panic attacks, I’m wondering if you have any help dealing with all of this at all? You could talk to your dad, a teacher, or a doctor about how you feel. If things don’t improve, then you might find counselling helpful.

Take care :hug:

Re: self harm because of abuse? help please?

Welcome to TeenHelp.

For some people, identifying their triggers can be challenging but it seems like you know that your abuse is making you want to harm yourself. Self-harm is really common in abuse victims because of the overload of suffocating feelings that are associated with it. I think it might help if you sit down and identify your feelings. Perhaps you can keep a journal or a blog so you have a personal space to release your feelings. The thread that has been provided above is a good resource to take a look at. There are a lot of alternatives on there, so definitely try some out. Also take what you want to feel when you chose an alternative in mind (similar sensation, a visual, etc).

As it has been said, deep breaths can really help with panic attacks. Try to also look around the room and observe it with your senses. You can remind yourself of the date, day of the week, the time, and where you are as well as you are safe now.

I definitely think you should talk to someone and consider seeing a professional so you can talk about all of your feelings associated with your abuse.

Take care.