TeenHelp - Mental Harm

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- Self Harm (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/)

- - Mental Harm (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t138762-mental-harm/)

Hey. I haven't hurt myself physically for 20 days now (wooooo), but I've noticed I've been "hurting myself mentally." I curse at myself a lot when I do something wrong or I don't approve of and a bunch of other stuff. I've always tended to do this, but I've been doing it a lot more now. I don't know if it's because I haven't hurt myself for a while and this is my way of letting my self-hate out, or if something's just built up and this is the results of it. I don't have the highest self-esteem either.

Its great how long you have been self harm free for. I hope you are proud of yourself for that! Maybe now you need to look into building you confidence and self esteem. That was my thought. Things you get worried about, maybe going to the shops on your own, or going to a group for example. Do these things. Put yourself under that pressure, because it is going to be hard but you can do it and the more and more you do it, the easier it'll become, trust me.

Remember we're here for you if you need anything. You aren't alone in this and you deserve all things good. You're a good person and don't deserve to be treated in a bay way even by yourself. So keep your head high and fight because you ARE worth it, okay?

Jessie

Hey there, Crystal. :)

Congratulations on being 20 days self-harm free! That's a pretty big accomplishment and it's something you should be proud of. How about taking that accomplishment for example, and treating yourself to something nice? This could be a good way to reward yourself for your progress along with helping you learn to treat yourself in the nice way that you deserve.

Self-harm can become a unhealthy way of expressing yourself and letting your bottled up feelings out. Perhaps you've started to take it out on yourself in emotional ways since you don't do so in physical ways anymore? I suggest finding healthy outlets that are therapeutic for you. Such as writing for example. You could write down feelings and thoughts you're having in a journal, and if you're writing about something you did that you're upset about, try to think on it and come to terms with yourself as you're writing. Think outside of the box and try to understand why you did or thought whatever it is that you're upset with yourself about as if you're reading the writing of someone else. If someone else you cared for did the same actions, would you curse at them or put them down? I highly doubt that as you seem like a really kind person so try to take small steps in treating yourself like you would a friend. Focus on recognizing all the good things you do and all your accomplishments, no matter how big or small. Building up self-esteem can be a difficult task but it's possible and you deserve to be happy with yourself.

On the note of treating yourself well, how about a reward system? For example, treat yourself to a CD or song you've wanted for awhile if you reach a self-harm free goal. If you're feeling low, try relaxing with a favorite movie and a snack. Going for a walk can be a good way to clear your head as well.

Has anything in particular happened recently to upset you that you haven't fully dealt with yet? As you said, sometimes things can build up. Do you have anyone you can talk to about your struggles lately? Sometimes it can help to have comfort and reassurance from those close to you.

Hope this helped, Crystal. Remember that no one is perfect and that's perfectly okay. We all do things we wish we hadn't, we all make mistakes and get upset with ourselves at some point. It's important to remember that you're still a great person capable of achieving anything. Breathe and remind yourself of all the good you do.

You can message me if you'd like someone to talk to. I hope you feel better soon. :)

Congrats on being self-harm free :) It could be that your verbal lashing out is indeed a coping mechanism - a replacement for physical harm - but hopefully this will subside over time now that your self-harming is no longer present.

Cursing violently is something that many of us do when we are upset (myself included). It doesn't necessarily mean that it is aimed directly at ourselves, just that we are frustrated and need an outlet.

Thank you guys :hug: I had another relapse, I tried cutting for the first time. I've tried writing things down to get things out, it doesn't seem to work though and frustrates me more. I'm trying to build up a better self-esteem, I keep forgetting about it though or lose motivation to. Thanks again for replying, and welcome to the site Nala :hug:

It can be tough when you have a relapse but don't beat yourself up. I think when you aren't harming yourself your body will find other ways to do harm. I think the negative comments could definitely be attributed to you not self harming. I know my negative thoughts and comments increased when I stopped harming. I would suggest you pick yourself up and try again. Try and utilize the Alternatives to Self Harm.

Crystal,

I've also found myself mentally hurting me in place of self harm. As of late, I haven't cut or hurt myself in a while (other than snapping my sillyband around my wrist) but I think that mentally harming myself is also something I do in place of self harm.

I'm sorry you are going through this but, just know I'm always here for you. :)

If you need somebody to lean on I would love to be there for you. :hug:

You'll get to a better place in your life. I believe in you!

~A