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-   -   When someone asks (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t157081-when-someone-asks/)

DeletedAccount88 September 25th 2018 11:55 PM

When someone asks
 
Just wondering (and kind of looking for ideas)...
What do you say if/when someone asks where your scars are from or asks what happened? Especially if the person is a child or stranger or family member you're not close to? Do you have different stories you tell different people?

DeletedAccount63 September 26th 2018 12:22 AM

Re: When someone asks
 
Hey,
So what I tell people is that I used to cut, I don't remember, I don't want to talk about it, or just shrug it off and change subjects.

As for ideas on what to tell kids: a cat did it. Make up a story about being attacked by a shark, bear, cheetah, tiger, lion. My friend made up a elaborate story about how she got attacked by a shark and went into great detail, I even jumped in and said I was there(since I knew what it was from) and the person she said this to believed her and he was a 9th, 10th, or 11th grader. So that can work.

As for what to tell adults I would say: I don't remember, shrug it off, change the subject, tell them its personal, you rather not say.

I would suggest you check out this link that has a list of alternatives instead of self-harm.

I hope this has helped you can always PM/VM me anytime you need to talk.
Your Friend,
Frankie<3

DeletedAccount88 September 26th 2018 02:55 AM

Re: When someone asks
 
Thanks for the ideas :)
Sorry, but that's kind of hilarious about the shark story (not your friend's self harm, just that the kid believed her elaborate tale)

I've been clean since january so things are better.
Just thinking about situations that might arise.

Unregistered September 5th 2020 02:53 AM

Re: When someone asks
 
[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]Always tell them the truth, but put it into words they'll see YOU through.

"I self-harm because when I feel too much inner pain I need to balance it with external pain for my mind to feel peace from the balance achieved."

"Too much inner anguish requires me to externalize my pain where I can see it before I can relax."

"My doctor says I'm schizo because of the voices. The meds don't help, but seeing blood does."[/size][/color][/font]

~Madam~ September 29th 2020 05:12 PM

Re: When someone asks
 
I personally just tell people "It happened a while ago." And then move on from the conversation as quickly as possible. If they ask me what happened, I just tell them I was hurt really bad! People are just curious, and as irritating as that is, I am a survivor and I am not gonna hide my body or feel ashamed for something I have no control over now.

Dawn. September 30th 2020 03:32 AM

Re: When someone asks
 
I usually say that a cat did it because I don't like people to know I used to SH. But I only have 1 scar on my forearm.

DeletedAccount71 October 2nd 2020 06:01 PM

Re: When someone asks
 
I usually tell people the truth and move on quickly. I have so many scars and they're in patterns so it doesn't really look like it could've been an accident. They don't need to know the details, though. For children I just say I got hurt really bad when I was young and move past it.

DeletedAccount69 October 3rd 2020 08:24 AM

Re: When someone asks
 
My niece has asked me and I told her 'I was hurt a long time ago but the doctors helped make me better.' I don't think it's healthy to lie to children about something like that because once they figure out you lied there is a chance they won't trust you.

As for adults, I hide it at work and pretty much every other adult I'm close to knows and random people don't ask. I'm assuming they don't ask because it's evident I self harmed but I'm not sure.

Allyson Wood December 9th 2020 05:10 AM

Re: When someone asks
 
I had a scar on my back and when they ask me what happen to it I tell them Don't worry It's nothing and directly changes the topic.

BackingErlking January 6th 2021 06:35 AM

Re: When someone asks
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ashen (Post 1329753)
Just wondering (and kind of looking for ideas)...
What do you say if/when someone asks where your scars are from or asks what happened? Especially if the person is a child or stranger or family member you're not close to? Do you have different stories you tell different people?

Depends on the person you're facing on. But if it's someone closely-related to you then I would tell them the truth because I believe in the saying " no man is an island ".


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