TeenHelp - Triggering (SH): I scratched myself

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- - Triggering (SH): I scratched myself (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t162769-i-scratched-myself/)

I scratched myself

im fucking panicking so much i'm sorry if this is really poorly written. i scratched myself with a sharp object. it hurt a lot. it barely did anything but it still hurts. one of the scratches has a tiny speck of blood, and by tiny i mean tiny, like you can barely see it, but when i saw that tiny speck i almost threw up. i cant believe i did that whats wrong with me i dont care if it wont scar the guilt will be with me forever even if it barely did any damage im going to cry

Re: I scratched myself

Hey Soda. Thank you for posting. I hope we can help you out.

I am sorry to hear you are struggling enough with painful emotions to engage in self-harm. Emotional suffering is hard to cope with, and sometimes we turn to self-harm to try and manage it. While I am glad you are not seriously injured, I am sorry you are feeling so much disgust and guilt for what you did. While these emotions exist for a reason, to deter us from engaging in behaviors we find wrong, hanging onto them doesn't serve us well, either, as they can cause our emotional pain to become even worse.

We all make mistakes. We all do things that hurt ourselves in some way or another. Some things just look more apparent than others. It's important to remember you did the best you could with the resources you had at the time, and to show yourself some grace for that. You were hurting, and you coped the best you knew how. You don't deserve to punish yourself for that. Instead, you can go forward knowing that you don't need to hurt yourself in this manner, and that it may be important to talk to someone about the feelings you are having that led you to do this, as well as finding other coping skills for dealing with difficult emotions.

Sometimes when physical harm is an urge, it can help to engage in other physical activities to relieve distress, like healthy exercise, or yoga, or making art, for example. Another common substitution for self-harm is to hold ice, or a frozen orange, until it hurts too much to do so. This creates sensations of "pain" without harming yourself, as well as cool your nervous system down, which relaxes the body on the inside.

Please remember, you are not a bad person for doing this, and you don't need to punish yourself. You are learning and growing, and that's okay. It's how life works. If you ever need us, feel free to reach out. We're here for you.

Re: I scratched myself

Quote:

Originally Posted by Subversive (Post 1377891)

Thank you very much. About 10-20 minutes after doing it I went downstairs and asked my mum for help. I was scared she would be mad at me, but she wasn't. She just comforted me and didn't get angry or overly upset. I still feel guilty about it, and various other emotions, but I feel a little better.

Re: I scratched myself

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soda_Voxel (Post 1377907)

I am glad to hear you feel a bit better, and I am glad to hear your mom was supportive. It's important to be able to rely on people in times of distress and it sounds like your mom was there for you during this time. I hope you feel you might be able to come to her in the future when you are having distressing emotions.

Re: I scratched myself

Hello Soda,

I am so sorry that you are having a hard time with this and hope that you will be okay soon. You did a wonderful job going up to your mother for help with this, it can be very hard sometimes to ask a parent or someone else for help with what we are going through and I am so glad that she was very helpful and kind to you. When we self harm after we can feel so many things and try not to put yourself down for doing this. Things happen and we will self harm, when you are having a hard time with this, next time try to find something to help you get your mind off of this for a while so that you are not thinking about it, going for a walk around your house or reading a book for a while or drawing or painting or writing or listening to music or watching movies or TV shows or calling someone or doing something else that you enjoy doing and hopefully this can help pick you up and you will feel a little bit better. I hope that you will be okay soon. :hug: to help you.