fighting the addiction to be bad
 

greetings everyone. im not sure where to begin so i guess ill start at the begining. Im a drug addict in recovery. I have 9 months clean now and ive done well at keeping out of the drug scene but ive began to notice that even without the drugs im still a bad person, or rather i still want to do bad things. i miss the rush i got breaking laws boosting cars tagging buildings as sick as it sounds it was a lot of fun, not to mention the cash flow was nice. i saw a $50,000 cadilac the other day and all i could think about was how i could sell that to a shop and in 30 minutes have more than i make at my legit job in a month. i miss my old life of taking what i want when i want. i know its wrong to live like that i know my life now is the way people are suppose to live but all the same i miss my life of crime, and everyday its harder to talk myself out of going back. and sooner or later im gunna find myself behind the wheel of a car thats not mine. i dnt know what kind of help i need but any advice would be helpfull at this point i just dont know what to do

Re: fighting the addiction to be bad
 

Have you tried watching a movie that is intense? Or going on amusement park rides? Something that gives a rush of adrenaline? Or better yet, you could go to a psychologist and try to figure out why you crave this rush so much.

Re: fighting the addiction to be bad
 

Hey. I had a bit of a similar situation a few years ago. Fell into illegal prostitution.

Try getting a job. A real one. People work hard for their money. And so should you.

Next time you get the urge... remind yourself that you are fully responsible for the decisions you make... and if you start making the right decisions then maybe you won't feel so much guilt.

Just remember you didn't steal that cadilac. You chose not to. You had self control. So far so good. :)

PM if you wanna chat.

Re: fighting the addiction to be bad
 

Hi there,

It seems as though you need to regain control of things in your life to be the person you once were. Do things you enjoy doing or try new hobbies. Find a job or a course that you would like to gain more experience in. Another thing is to talk to somebody. When you have the urge to do something bad, speak to someone about it (such as a psychologist or counsellor). Work out why you feel like doing something bad and hopefully they'd be able to help you work a way forward to get you back to how your old life used to be.

Believe in yourself. Continue to fight the urges and eventually you'll break the cycle.
I hope this has helped.

Re: fighting the addiction to be bad
 

Hi There;

Ashley, Sailor and Lexiloo are right... try some new things you have already started as you may have not notice...
"Im a drug addict in recovery. I have 9 months clean now and ive done well at keeping out of the drug scene"
get a real job... find your good friends before..visit your family, brother/sisters talk to them and show them your starting a new life.
Most of all.. ask help and guidance to GOD there are things that people cannot do to you that only God can do.

God Bless and continue the good work you have started.