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Past rape
7 months ago, I was raped by someone who I knew. I reported it and the police put out a warrant for his arrest. He went missing that day and a few days later appeared at my school. Be pushed me up against the wall while trying to strangle me. Thankfully, a group of guys walked past and got him off me. He was arrested and got 1 year in jail. Ever since then I have been having nightmares about him getting out and coming after me again. I am scared to be touched by anyone. This isn't the first time I have been raped, but none of them have effected me this much. I don't know what to do.
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Re: Past rape
I'm really sorry to hear this. Though it's not your first time, being raped, I think perhaps the trauma of the other rapes have built up and this might be why you feel this rape has affected you the most. Also, if this rape was done by someone you know, that can also make things feel worse.
I think it's really understand that you have been having nightmares about him getting out and coming after you, particularly if he tried to strangle you at school. Are you able to talk to the police or victim support about this? They may be able to help protect you, if you think he would come after you. After being raped, many people don't like to be touched either. Sometimes, we can tell people who we are close to, that we don't like being touched, and they should respect that. Other times, touching can accidentally happen like in a crowded store. In this case, try to remind yourself that it's accidental, and it meant no harm. Also, have you had any therapy for what you have been through? You may find it helpful to talk about these things with a trained professional. |
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Re: Past rape
No need to apologise :)
It's good that you were able to have some counselling after the experience, it's just a shame you wont be able to get free counselling now though. But I hope you are able to find something else. Perhaps look for rape/abuse/assault charities or organisations in your area, as they may offer free or low cost counselling, and if not, they might be able to point you to other services. Alternatively, doctors should definitely be able to help. I can't imagine how scared you must be right now, especially if you don't have much support in place. Try to take things a day at a time, and try not to rush any decisions out of fear, whether that's finding more support or anything else. |
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