TeenHelp - rape victim...

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- - rape victim... (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f13-rape-abuse/t5206-rape-victim/)

well, i know who raped me ya'll....-.-
thing is....im the only one who knows...
i finally figured it out and said suttin to him one nitte
we were outside nd he punched me....gave me a black eye....
and said if i ever tell anyone his name...and what he looks like.....hez gunna find me...and kill me....
help
i dont know what to do ...im WAY to skarred to lett anyone know who it is....
=/ i mean...blah

Re: rape victim...

I'm really sorry ur going thru this hun, but if he's threatening you, u really need to tell someone. I know it can be scary, but you will be so much safer if he's arrested or at least someone knows. The only power he has, comes from your silence. Don't let him have that control.

Is there anyone you are close to that you could tell, then maybe they could help you make the next step in reporting him.

plz keep urself safe cassie and if u need to talk, u can pm me.

Re: rape victim...

Hi Cassie.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Coping after rape is hard enough without having to worry about his threats. Unfortunately, threats aren't so uncommon when it comes to rape. The person who hurt you will threaten you to make you feel like they still have control, and to make you feel like you're powerless - or sometimes, they'll threaten because they're afraid of being turned in. But reasons aside - Cassie, by keeping quiet about this, you're showing him he has that power over you, you're showing him he has the upper hand. You're showing him you're afraid. He's hurt you and that's not ok, what he's done never will be ok because he had no right whatsoever to hurt you like that or cause you pain in any way.

Reporting a rape takes a lot of strength and courage, and it's even harder when you've been threatened. But, if you go to the police and report the rape, if you tell them he threatened you - Cassie, they'll protect you. He'll be arrested, they'll put a restraining order on him, and there will be people around you making sure you're safe. He won't be able to hurt you if he's been arrested. Reporting it can be scary but it's not as scary when you aren't alone. By this I mean, you might consider telling a very close friend first. Tell that friend everything that happened, and ask them to come with you when you tell your parents and the police. Having a familiar face, having someone you trust and feel comfortable with by your side, it can take away some of the nervousness.

And don't forget that when you've reported it, you'll be able to get help so you can cope with what happened. You can speak with a counselor; talking things through with someone can be such a great help. Even if it's not easy to talk about it at first it does get easier with time. You'll have support all around you - people who will be there to pick you up when you fall, who'll help you through this. You're not alone with any of this.

You've been so incredibly strong by posting here and reaching out for help, Cassie, you can be strong again and speak out about the rape. Don't bottle it up inside, don't be afraid to ask for help. I'm here if you want to talk. Take care of yourself.

Re: rape victim...

Cassie,
You really do need to tell someone. Hell, it could just be a close friend that you tell because you don't want to have to be the one who tells authorities. Or you can go straight to an adult. However, make sure that the friend doesn't start telling people about it, because that'd be a problem.
Good luck dear. If you need to talk, let me know.
~Em~

Re: rape victim...

hey cassie.

just remember that you've all our support :)

and you have to tell someone else about what you're going through. you just have to tell them what you went through and you can lie about the details ( like who did it, how did he look like ) the most important thing now is to get emotional support in order to make everything feel better :)

and yeah, i just have to make it clear that you've all our support there. in case you need anyone to talk to, you can always talk to us :)

Re: rape victim...

He's not going to kill you. I highly doubt he would like murder added to rape. You should tell.

Re: rape victim...

cassie .

i kno exactly how you feel . i was raped by a guy i had known for nearly 4 years, && he raped me twice . he told me he would kill my whole family if i told anyone . then he would tell me if i told the police he would just keep lying && denying it && he would get off . for about 2 years after the rapes i didnt tell anyone because i was so terrified of what he might do to me but the pain i felt day by day of having to hide such a big secret hurt more . this past october i finally told my parents && the police . he was arrested i got a peace order which basically states he cant come near me or else he'll be arrested && my case is going to trial in 2 months . i kno its really hard to admit to what happend to you && to face him, but i can say this honest to God i feel so much better now knowing that my family is here to help me && the police are helping me . the hardest thing is to tell your parents && having to write your statement then the examinations but after that its so easy && you'll feel so much better . even though time is crucial if you need time take the time . it took me 2 years to tell my parents . i do regret taking so long but atleast now that its out in the open i feel like i can breathe . if it helps tell a friend && ask them to tell your parents with you . thats how i told mine . i asked my bestfriends mom to tell my mom && she did .

just be strong && if you need anyone to talk to me please dnt hesitate to talk to me . i would love to help you in anyway possible .

Re: rape victim...

hi Cassie,

I have totally been in your situation before.. the best thing for you.. tell your parents what happened, and ask them to go with you to the police station. If you don't turn him in, then your going to be living with the guilt, that this could happen to someone else. if you need me, pm me :)

From
Brittany