Being Sober
 

Re: Being Sober
 

0 days. But Im going to be put on probation eventually for DUI, so that will probably have to change. Honestly, I would be more open to taking time off alcohol voluntarily if I wasnt going to be forced into sobriety. I have an “enjoy it while I can” /FOMO attitude now, which isnt the best, BUT.

I had a pretty good sobriety streak (from alcohol) from 2020 to 2022, though I had some slips during that time. I got back into drinking because I started semi-conciously thinking of “having an intentional slip/cheat day” as an option to deal with stress or occassional cravings. I started feeling the slips were nothing to even worry about. I was disappointed every time by the alcohol buzz….until I suddenly started enjoying it again and I went back to regular drinking.

I dont really want to stop drinking, but I want to stop some negative impacts it has on me. I am considering alternative recovery when probation is over- this would entail taking the anti-craving drug naltrexone an hour before drinking every time I drink. It is not the same pill that makes you sick when mixed with alcohol. Rather, it blocks some of that giddy feeling you get when you drink so you want to drink less over time. The brain eventually forgets how alcohol used to feel. If you are trying to get sober and having trouble with the traditional way, you can look this method up. It is called the Sinclair method. Some people need to start with a lower dose though than this method recommends due to side effects. It is not a medication you need to forever take daily, just on the days you drink- which may be everyday at first but will likely decrease.

Re: Being Sober
 

Re: Being Sober
 

Re: Being Sober
 

Good job. How do you feel? Normally 7 days is around the time that the mental haze starts lifting but other times I still feel the jitters at that time and am not thinking straight. I have actually considered getting a script for antabuse during probation (the stuff that actually makes you super sick when you drink by inhibiting a particular liver enzyme that processes the acetaldehyde toxin from alcohol, so you feel deathly hungover quickly) just to discourage any temptation as I dont want to go to jail. Do you have a plan for the future yet, or are you just taking every day at a time? At 7 days, it is fine to not yet have a plan- but you do need to eventually have one. One that is either:1) self sobriety without any program,2) sobriety with a program or long term medication (for me, antabuse would be short term and then naltrexone long term if I can tolerate the side effects), or 3) just taking a break. You need to figure out which of the three options will be the most effective for your situation or you may relapse. I didnt have a plan during my first sobriety attempt. I initially chose option 1 but then it evolved into option 3 as I didnt rigidly stick to it

Re: Being Sober
 

Re: Being Sober
 

Re: Being Sober
 

Re: Being Sober
 

Yes, you absolutely do not want to take the chance and drive and drinking. I got into that habit in 2018 and nothing ever happened so I stopped even thinking much about it. Then one night this past July my left headlight went out and I didnt notice until I was pulled over. Got arrested for DUI. Now my license is suspended, my insurance is probably going to be unaffordable and I may have to sell the car. Not to mention being on probation is going to really suck(cant even use medical marijuana without jumping through a bunch of hoops… also have to agree that you can be searched at any time by your PO). Oh and during the mandatory DUI school, they force almost everyone into mandatory substance abuse treatment. Not saying I dont have a problem, but the court system is not designed to help defendants. Thought I was saving all these years not ubering. Now I really gotta pay. Wasnt worth it. At least I didnt cause an accident while drunk in all of those years. That would have been really bad. Most people caught for DUI have been doing it for a long to very long time before finally getting caught. But it can happen the first time too. Either way, it is an easy thing to mak a habit of if you do start making excuses to drive afte drinking(ie. Im likely over 0.08 but Im not THAT drunk, “it is only a short distance”, “ I may be drunk but I can still drive and Ill just be careful to not get pulled over”, “ I have had a few at home and taking some risk and driving tonight is the difference between a fun night out and sitting in my room alone staring at the wall”). Eventually you get used to driving at least buzzed and stop even making the excuses. Just takes one time to see the blue lights behind you. They only have to get lucky once. I had to get lucky everyday.

Good job on your sobriety. Did you have any cravings when you first stopped? I find this difficult/ almost impossible. I managed to make it one day last day weekend after a recurrence of an alcohol induced illness that Im not supposed to drink with. Then I missed drinking at the bar and thought a beer would not hurt. Do you miss nights out? Like I said, I temporarily got sober in 2020 and although it didnt stick, it was very hard to hear the neighboring bar (which just reopened after lockdown) blasting music. Eventually, I lost my taste for it but then it came back.

In 2018, I managed 6 weeks sober. I thought much clearer- like my IQ was 10 points higher. It really does make you feel better. Do you have plans for remaining sober or are you just taking it on day at a time? 26 days is really amazing. Some otherwise nice people are sitting in jail right now because they cant remain sober for any length of time even on probation that requires you to not drink.

For what it is worth: one thing that really helped the social aspect for me at first was kava bars. Not sure about health effects of kava and kratom, but it helped. Kratom can cause withdrawal if you take it daily though. You can always go and just drink some yerba mate or green tea and nobody will think anything of that. That would be better. I have found it annoying to be at a regular bar drinking non- alcoholic drinks when people around me are getting drunk… for many reasons. I find the drunk people annoying when sober and also have to deny a constant voice in my head telling me to drink.

Re: Being Sober
 

Re: Being Sober
 

This is one of the hardest things to address permanently. Dont beat yourself up over it. Few attempts actually succeed long term unfortunately. I wish I had advice, but I dont because I can simply relate too much and havent yet had lasting success. I wish I knew how to address alcohol cravings without side effects or drinking. There is that naltrexone stuff I mentioned, but it causes appetite loss as a side effect. I don’t think I can deal with that (underweight and also struggling to gain for some reason), but maybe you can. Just take some when you want to have a “cheat day”. You still get credit for the 26 days imo, so you didn’t “lose” sobriety. It is against human nature to go from doing something frequently to not a all suddenly. Everyone I know who succeeded on their first attempt did so as a result of ending up in the legal system where they basically had no choice. Realistically, there is going to be a brief interruption along the way. Just try to keep it brief and not call your effort a failure and give up. Nearly 4 weeks sober is not failure.

Edit: I don’t mean to sound harsh at all. But frankly, I expected this sobriety streak to fail. But, I also strongly believe you will find a sustained relief from this in the not so distant future. It is at least one of your first attempts and this is how it often goes.

Re: Being Sober
 

Re: Being Sober
 

Re: Being Sober
 

Re: Being Sober
 

Re: Being Sober
 

Sorry, I didnt see your previous reply as I thought it was the same post that I read before. I dont think counting days is necessarily what is important. I think “how long have you been sober” is one of those “friendly” questions that in reality is unintentionally pretty rude and invasive… the person could have had a beer the night before in a lapse(wouldnt call it relapse myself unless the person returns to previous levels and frequency), but years since they were drunk. Or maybe they have been sober for 30 years but had a beer 5 years ago. It is a fairly invasive question. Old habits die slowly- you have reduced the amount you have been drinking with these sobriety stretches and likely as a result you are drinking within the safe weekly amount guidelines. That is progress. If I ever do get sober, Im not counting any days. I didnt count days during my last serious streak of recovery from alcoholism. I dont see the point and view it as counterproductive. Had no clue the exact number of days (except on days 1-10 of course)… just knew the month and year that I had (temporarily, I guess) stopped alcoholism.

Have yoy heard of SMART recovery? It is an alternative to AA that is evidence based and it does not emphasize the counting of days, but instead overall progress. It uses methods that have been scientifically verified by psychologists. AA on the other hand, was not based on science but instead on personal beliefs and observations made by Dr. Bob and Bill W nearly 100 years ago. While you may not do AA yourself, the practice of counting days was popularized as the “thing that you do when getting sober” by the widespread and almost exclusive adoption of the AA/12 step model in the 20th century. It was so widespread that it made its way into layperson culture.

Re: Being Sober
 

Re: Being Sober
 

Re: Being Sober
 

Re: Being Sober
 

Re: Being Sober
 

Re: Being Sober
 

Well, looks like I have to be sober now- or at least more sober. Im getting randomly tested for alcohol (via etg testing, which is very sensitive) and other drugs. So I cant drink everyday anymore at least. Would be lying though if I said I didnt have some drinks last week before the weekend when the probation office and testing office is closed. Im not sure if I will continue trying to cheat the system. I had horrible anxiety for days afterwards(and yet a huge temptation to drink anyways- once I start, stopping is hard) because if it shows in a random, I would probably do 30-60 days in jail for violating DUI probation. Also felt super ashamed of myself for potentially squandering the deal that my lawyer won in court. Used to drink 12+ drinks a day and was having repeated and frequent pancreatitis attacks and got very underweight. Not to mention some crazy binges where I was stumbling around over town/crashing my bike(cant drive anymore due to my drinking- so use a bike) and losing/ breaking expensive items in the process. I look and feel much better already even though I did drink heavily late last week. On the other hand, wanting a drink and not being able to have one feels unpleasant, even though it does make drinking much less of an option- except on those Fridays(and maybe Thursdays) where I know I have until Tuesday for a random test. On those days, I feel an incredible fear of missing out- as I know it is the only opportunity that I will have for the coming week. That makes me want to drink more on those days. ETG (ethyl glucuronide) is a minor metabolite of alcohol and only has a half life of 2-3 hours and that gives enough time. It usually only goes back 72-80 hours MAX and that is only if you drank like a handle of vodka or are a slow eliminator. Most pass in 24-48 hours. The paranoia I have after is still there though and hardly feels worth it.

Feels good to have a much needed tolerance break from weed. I cant touch that at all due to the detection window(the metabolite THC-COOH isnt water soluble, unlike ETG). I was doing lots of concentrates and very high dose edibles daily for years. I actually almost entirely stopped smoking much actual flower on the way because my tolerance was too extreme to feel even high potency bud. Needed the concentrated oils to feel it. I havent gone even a week without THC since 2018 or maybe very early 2019. I have abstained for nearly two weeks now and am only starting to get my appetite back. I basically couldnt eat the first week because my natural cannabinoid receptors were so burnt out. I will smoke again when Im off, but less and hopefully will stick to flower and lower potency edibles.

Anyone reading this: do anything you can to not get a DUI. You can't legally drink nor drive if you are caught drinking and driving. You dont want to go through supervised probation (which is restrictive and about half of people fail and have to serve some actual jail time) and all the other bullshit and costs associated with that. I literally need to get expensive FR-44 insurance now just to get my license back in case I ever wanted to rent a car once a year… even if I didnt own a car. Just to have a license and no car to drive, it will cost more than what other people with a car pay for their insurance. If I kept my car… well progressive (one of the most lenient on DUI) quoted me 4300 dollars every 6 months. Almost 9 grand a year. Wont be affording that in the near future. Oh and did I mention you have to pay for the “privilege” of being on supervised probation and also for every drug test they give you? As a bonus, you get barred from entering several countries (ie. Canada) with a US DUI conviction. And for the costs of the court to sentence you? It would suck even more if I lived in Arizona- the strictest in the nation on DUI.

Re: Being Sober