Introducing Addiction.
 

Hello. My name is Kayla.
And I am addicted to self harming myself.
I have been for three years.

Re: Introducing Addiction.
 

Re: Introducing Addiction.
 

Thank you for welcoming me Katie(:
I joined TH awhile ago, but I never really used it until last week.
What triggers me to do it?
Anything. I just love the feeling. But not the guilt afterwards.
But the moment you do it, it makes me feel great.
Umm... I cut, bite, scratch, burn, freeze, peel. pretty much everything.

Re: Introducing Addiction.
 

oh wow, thats a lot to deal with and im sorry.
feeling guilty after is the worst feeling ever.
i know this sounds weird to ask but do you want to stop self harming?
i mean most people do but some really love it and dont.
i want to support you in any way possible.
have you talked to friends or family members about it?

Re: Introducing Addiction.
 

i think my parents may know about it, but they haven't brought it up.
they are probably hoping that i will bring it up once i start counseling in august.
my sister does know about it though. both do actually. they are both older. one is two years older, the other four years older.
friends? ha. i don't have many friends. i have a couple, like three or four, and i'm thankful for them, don't get me wrong, but i just wish i had more sometimes.
i also have two imaginary friends. (: joseph and adam.
but, yes. my closest friend does know about it. i have a blog written about him if you would like to know about him(: it's called hero.
he's eleven years older then me though. but i'm not ashamed to say he's my best friend. he's so helpful. he is actually trying to get me to stop SH.
and to answer your question, if i did stop, it would be for God or for my friend.
they are the two most important people in my life.
and i've heard it before, "if you're christian, you're not supposed to self harm." i know that. i'm well aware. i'm working on it. i want to stop for them. but like i said... i'm addicted. i do it without realizing now. i do it every second of the day.

Re: Introducing Addiction.
 

Hey Kayla,

I am sorry that you have to deal with self-harm but I want you to know that you can beat it. It will take time and commitment(and you have to be ready) but you can beat it one day.

I am glad that your sisters know, do you think you could talk to them about it? I know it is hard to talk to people about such personal things but talking is a really really good thing to do. Also, your sisters really might want you to talk to them but they might not want to pressure you and make you feel worse. I am also glad you have your friend; do you and him talk much about this? If so maybe you could go to him when you are struggling and talk.

A counselor is great and I hope that you get some help out of that. Something I want to suggest is that you not be afraid to open up to the counselor. I know that it can be hard to open up to someone new about all these things but a counselor really does want to help and one of the only ways they can help is if you are open with them; do you think you could do that?

I don't know if you feel ready to quit cutting but if you do then you should really check out the alternatives. I know that they have helped me in the past. The one thing you should remember about the alternatives is it takes a while for your body to get used to them so please don't give up on them working if you try them out.

Please hang in there and if you ever need someone to talk to my pm box is always open. :)

~Jenna~

Re: Introducing Addiction.
 

you shouldnt be ashamed of your best friend,
in fact if thats the person thats going to help you stop
im glad you have him.

consuling will be good, it will let you get everything out, at first it might be hard to
talk about it with him/her but eveuntually you will another friend to explain things to you and who will help you through this.

as jenna said there is a huge list of alternatives and tatics to help you battle self harming, if you want any just ask (:

Re: Introducing Addiction.
 

thank you for trying to help me so much.
both of you.
i am really glad that i have my friend to help so much.
we used to talk about it a lot, and now we talk whenever he sees me doing it, or when he knows i'm really struggling. so yes, he's always there to talk. (:
i have a huge fear of people in real life, and even though a counselor would be good, i am doing everything i can to get out of going. i can't even go to the store, or check the mail just because my fear of people is so big and it causes major anxiety.
so i'm not sure i can do that.
my youth pastor, or one of the two, is a counselor at a school, and he is studying physcology. so maybe i could just talk to him about it since i know him already.
but i know if God calls me to counseling, i should go, and even through my fears, because i know God will be right there with me.
I will just have to follow my calling.
but right now, self harm controls my life.

Re: Introducing Addiction.
 

Re: Introducing Addiction.
 

Hey Kayla I'm sorry to hear that self harm is so controling over your life! I have been like that before in my life. It's great that you are looking for help and talking to people! We are hear for you and try using the alternatives sticky on these forums. They helped me so much get through my addict to self harm. Just don't forget we are hear to help you through this you can do it! By the way...I love your avatar! Is that you on it?

Re: Introducing Addiction.
 

i will try talking to him on wednesday at youth group.
and my friend who is trying to help me will be at youth group too, he helps out.
so maybe if i get scared, i can have him come with me.
i mean, it's kinda cheating to talk to my youth pastor,
but he's still a counselor!
and thank you guys a lot for trying to help me.

Re: Introducing Addiction.
 

Re: Introducing Addiction.
 

alright, tomorrow I will talk to him(:
I hope that it works or I alteast get good input to help.
i've tried alternatives before, but none really work for me.
what helps best, is talking to my best friend.
because i want to change.
For God atleast!

Re: Introducing Addiction.
 

Re: Introducing Addiction.
 

thanks! (:
i'll get on tonight after youth group and probably post on here about it, or i will PM you(:
it depends on what all he has to say.

Re: Introducing Addiction.