TeenHelp - Triggering (SH): Hiding cuts or telling parents about self arm?

Hi there,

I think that it would be at least worth it to tell your parents ahead of time. You don't have to tell your entire family if you don't want to, but at least if you let them know ahead of time they won't force you to do anything that would put you in an awkward position if you don't want to be.

Sit down with them sometime between now and the time you see your extended family. Let them know that you had been really scared to tell them before, but now you feel as if they have to know the truth, and then be as honest with them as possible about it.

Do you have any really light sweaters that you can wear, such as a cardigan? You may be able to use this to cover up some of the cuts.
You could always layer your clothes so there's a light long-sleeved sweater under a short-sleeved shirt and say it's a style thing, or for the healed cuts you can put makeup over them but try not to get it into any open injuries.

You can say something like you can't go swimming because you have your period (assuming you're female), have cramps, or just don't feel well. Or, if there are activities that don't involve wearing a swim suit, try to spend time doing those.

But, hey, if anyone asks you about the self harm injuries, you don't even have to tell them. It's none of their business. Let them know you appreciate their concern but you'd prefer not to talk about it at this time, and if they pry, leave the situation. You do deserve to have fun! Don't let this ruin your vacation.

You probably should try and use this as a motivation to stop self harming though. You don't deserve to worry about hiding your cuts and scars all the time. You deserve to have fun. You also don't deserve to be constantly worrying about wounds getting infected if they are not properly cared for. Also, self harm doesn't really solve your problems but instead makes them worse for the reasons I mentioned, and because the problems come back because you aren't really fixing anything. Instead, maybe use an alternative such as these ones. If one doesn't work, don't get discouraged. One definitely will. Try and find ways to express your emotions, too.

I think you should get support from an adult like a family member, doctor, therapist, guidance counselor, school nurse, teacher, coach, club adviser, religious leader, or someone else you trust. I know it is scary but you don't deserve to go through this alone. You deserve to get all of this out of your system to someone who would probably love to support you and get you to a better place.

You can do this! :hug:

-Dez