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-   -   Triggering (Grieving): My parents are seperating (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f18-friends-family/t129501-my-parents-seperating/)

applejacks1234 March 17th 2014 11:30 PM

My parents are seperating
 
so the other day, my mom told me that her and my dad are gonna separate for a while because they need a break and space after 25 years. my dad is gonna move into the garage. he's turning it into a man cave. i have two sisters and im the middle child. they didnt want to tell me. they told my sisters a week before they told me. i cant live like this. my dads gonna realize he likes living on his own. my sister just went back up to college yesterday and i feel so alone. its all i can think about. the only person who makes me happy is my boyfriend but he doesnt live down the block or anything. and im not allowed in his car. idk what to do. i want to run away. i cant live knowing my dad is on the property but he doesnt want to live with me and my sisters and my mom. i havent talked to him in 3 days. he's like a complete stranger. im barly talking to my mom but since she was the one who told me, i have a LITTLE respect for her. someone please help me, i want my life back :(

Kate* March 18th 2014 12:33 AM

Re: My parents are seperating
 
Hey there, I'm sorry to hear about what's happening right now. I was much younger when my parents divorced so I can't identify completely with what you're feeling, but I know what its like to feel like to want things to be the way they used to be. It's perfectly understandable to be angry and to feel alone.

Separation doesn't necessarily mean that they will get a divorce or that your dad will like living on his own. Things will be different for a while, but you can get through this This separation from your mom doesn't mean that your dad wants separation from you. Things going on between your parents affect you, but your relationships with each of your parents is separate from your parents' relationship with each other.

I know you want to get away from the situation, but running away won't solve this or help you feel better. If you feel like you need some extra support you might want to look into seeing your school counselor, they won't tell your parents you've been to see them and they might have more ideas of ways to help you through this. When my parents divorced my friends invited me to a support group that my guidance counselor ran during lunch, this, or something similar might be available to you also.

Levi_ March 18th 2014 12:39 AM

Re: My parents are seperating
 
Hello,

Reading your post made me remember the divorce of my step father and mother. I was very upset because afterwards my stepfather kicked us out, and my mother couldn't even afford me, and I couldn't live with her until she got back on her feet. I lived with her friend's family, and I longed for my old life. But, now I am living with her again, and I am used to things again. If I could have gave myself advice back then, I would told myself that no matter what happens, that I will eventually feel comfortable. I think this would have helped me. I think as hard as it is now, that you will eventually get used to your new life. It will be very different than before, but it will feel like home. Your father and mother will always be there for you. They will always love you. U r there child. The only thing changing is that they are no longer marryed. I hope u r ok. :hug:

Levi

Teenswag32 March 27th 2014 01:19 PM

Re: My parents are seperating
 
My parents divorced a few years ago. It was really hard and all i wanted is them to get back together. i wanted my life back. But eventually my mom found someone else and moved out. my dad turned into an alcoholic and started using drugs. i havents seen him in liiike....3 years...i think...but its just made me realize who really cared about me and who didnt. Its a tough change but youll get through it and everything will be okay. just because your parents are divorcing, doesnt mean they dont love you. they probably didnt want to tell you straight away because they didnt know how to...telling someone something like that isnt easy...so you shouldnt be mad at them for that...running away wont help...it will just cause more stress on the family and itll cause a lot of problems for you...if you have someone that you teust, like a family member or a friend, tou could talk to them which would probably help you deal with the divorce better...or you could alwas talk to people on here...were all here for you :)


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