TeenHelp - moms family is making her choose me or them

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- - moms family is making her choose me or them (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f18-friends-family/t165783-moms-family-making-her-choose-me-them/)

moms family is making her choose me or them

so almost 2 months ago i got in a fight with my unclehe was supposed to babysit me and i didnt want to
then some stuff happened and i threw something at him
he started it by being agresive btw
anyways i broke his nose
he was so mad we didnt see him over st patrick day
mom was sure he would just calm down over time

he hasnt
in fact hes been complaning about me to my grandparents
they beleive him more then mom because they didnt like mom married dad
my dad passed away so things have been difficult
and my grandparents dont want to help mom
uhh her parents i mean
my dads mom is still alive and she helps as best she can
even if shes poor
which is saying lots since moms parents are rich but dont help mom

so basicaly they dont like me
i remind them to much of dad
and they dont like dad
so me beating up my uncle makes them like me even less
and i overheard mom getting mad at them on the phone

she says im not the problem but i sure feel like it
because maybe if i hadnt throwed that thing at my uncle
mom wouldnt be so stressed

just feeling guilty right now you know

Re: moms family is making her choose me or them

It's definitely not you who is the problem. It's not your fault that they remind them of your dad. And you're young. While throwing something at him was wrong, you're still young and this was a learning experience for you in not throwing items. Do you think it would help if you sent a text to your uncle apologizing for throwing something at him? I know he was aggressive first, though, so you definitely don't have to be the one to apologize first just to appease him. It's whatever you feel most comfortable with, but maybe talk to your mom before sending the text to make sure she's on board.

You're your mom's child so I would hope that she would choose you over them. It seems like she's not mad at you for throwing something and that she realizes that this isn't your fault.

If your family is toxic I think it would be okay if you limited your association with them. There may be situations that are unavoidable, such as if you have to go to a family party, but you don't have to talk to people who bring you down just because they're older than you.