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Sorry For Posting So Much on This Forum OMG
My dad's a bum who apparently hasn't paid for my brother's school for about SIX MONTHS. That's crazy. My brother goes to a private school but that's because he's autistic and needs more attention than what a public school could provide. I'm not sure how much my brother's school fees cost but I think it'd be more than what I'll make in my part time job. I'm feeling pretty stressed right now because since my brothers school fees has not been paid in six months he won't be allowed to go to school anymore and if my brother got cut off from school then my mom will move with me to the town that I'm going to for college. Which means that I won't be able to get a taste of what freedom could be. I'm an adult now, I need to learn how to be independent. Yes the reason is so that I can leave my family behind but even if I'm not leaving them (slim chance) I still need to be able to act like an adult and I can't do that if my mom keeps worrying if I'm going out or threatening suicide when I get a girlfriend. Also, my college fee isn't cheap either and my dad has already borrowed money to pay for just a third of what he needs to pay for THIS YEAR ONLY. WHAT ABOUT NEXT YEAR??? AND THE YEAR AFTER THAT??? Man I gotta find another job. This one pays well and to be honest I plan on quitting once I start college but now I don't think I could even afford to quit! Hell, I might need to take more jobs. And what about school work? If I got distracted by work then I might get bad grades and it would just be a waste of money. What about my social life? Everything is expensive now, my country's economy is at an all time low! Everything is so damn expensive! I just want a haircut, launch my magazine, go out by myself and have fun but that's gonna cost like a gazillion bucks now. Man, I already had plans and dreams that I want to achieve once I'm in college but I don't think I could even afford to dream. Not with how broke my family is. Even dreaming of going out seems just as fantastical as dreaming of owning a dragon.
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Re: Sorry For Posting So Much on This Forum OMG
What a cruel cosmic joke. Just when I'm not suicidal life gets much harder to live
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Re: Sorry For Posting So Much on This Forum OMG
Hey,
First, I want to say that you should never apologize for posting on this forum, no matter how often you do. That's what we're here for :) It sounds like you have a lot going on and I'm sorry things are still so stressful for you right now. Does your college have dorms? I know that you'll potentially be moving to the same city that your school is in but it doesn't mean you can't live on campus if so. You can tell your parents that you just want the full college experience, including living on campus. If that's not possible, maybe you can find things to do to keep you out of the house for a while. For example, if your college has a library or student center, you can study and do homework there instead of coming home to do it. You can meet people in your classes that you can form a connection to. They'll have something in common with you since they picked the class as well, so maybe you can form a study group and strike up conversations with them while you're in between lessons. I also want to say that your mom's actions aren't your responsibility. It sounds like she is manipulating you and abusing you by threatening suicide when you do something she doesn't like. Only she is responsible for her actions. You can call emergency services and they can come out and evaluate her. She may be upset that you called, but it will teach her a lesson about not threatening suicide. As far as her worrying when you go out, maybe you can agree to check in with her while you're out so she knows you're safe. Just a simple text or call will do, just saying that you're still good. As far as your brother, maybe your parents can look and see if there are any scholarships or payment plans that will help them pay for his school. Some schools may offer financial assistance for those who don't make enough to pay tuition. I hope things start looking up for you soon. Take care, Dez |
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