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Terrible social anxiety and having panic attacks over school

Over the summer, I've done nothing but stay in my house except to go grocery shopping and the only people who I've talked to are my dad and my friend who lives hours away from me. I'm going back to high school tomorrow, and I'm so stressed about it that I can't deal with it. On top of the sleeping problems that I already had, I've been staying up the whole night and haven't been able to sleep because I'm so terrified about going back to school. I was grocery shopping with my dad this morning and there were so many people around me that I couldn't handle it and that made me start thinking about school and how I just came out as transgender, lost a ton of my friends, and am completely unprepared to go back. I had a huge panic attack and I started shaking, my heart started racing, and I wanted to crawl up on the ground and die in the middle of the supermarket. I've been so pulled away from people that I can't even deal with simple things like going to the store without totally freaking out. I've been too scared to talk to anyone or see anyone and I've lost so many opportunities because I didn't want to leave my house. Tomorrow, school starts at 7:30, but my meeting with the principal about my transitioning is at 9, meaning the first 2 or 3 periods of school all of my teachers will call me she and call be my my birth name and I don't think I can handle that. I know I won't have the nerve to tell them about my preferred pronouns or name and it's likely that they'll call me those names the rest of the year and won't know any better. I've worked so hard to pass and for everyone to accept me and it feels like everything is just being crushed because of my social problems. I've got nobody in my school who I can talk to and I just don't know what to do

Re: Terrible social anxiety and having panic attacks over school

Hello, Max!

I'm sorry you didn't receive a response sooner. I guess you've gone back to school at this point. How was the first day and first week? If I had seen this sooner, I would have offered a few suggestions (which you may still be able to use). One would be to approach each teacher privately and tell them your preference. I have a friend who is in the process of transitioning, and she advocates for herself whenever she sees or hears something she doesn't like. I know that isn't easy to do, but based on what I've seen her go through, it's much tougher when you don't speak up for yourself. It begins to eat away at you, and school/work/etc. don't feel "right" or "safe".

I can understand that things must be especially rough right now, since you lost a number of friends due to the transition. Do you have an LGBT club at your school? Finding people who can truly empathize with what you're going through can be incredibly helpful. Also, since you're experiencing a great deal of anxiety, it might not hurt to speak to a school counselor or psychological professional. Is your father supportive of your transition? Your insurance may cover the cost of therapy. If not, there should be plenty of non-profit organizations that aim to provide support to members of the LGBT community.

Re: Terrible social anxiety and having panic attacks over school

I have anxiety and its just terribble. I take medicine auch as sertaline, and Zoloft. If you go to a Therapist to help deal with it. If you go to one ask him/her about Zoloft or Sertaline, it really helps me because I don't have Anxiety attacks that often anymore but I still have them.

Re: Terrible social anxiety and having panic attacks over school

Hey there,

I like Robin's idea of talking to your teachers privately. I know that will be hard to do but it might also feel empowering to speak up for yourself. Sometimes things are really hard to do at first but the more you do it the easier it gets, you know? Also, another thing that might help with all of this is joining a gay straight alliance at your school. They might be able to provide you with support and advice on dealing with all of this and you might be able to make some friends as well. Does your school have something like a gay straight alliance? Would you feel comfortable looking for a support group in your area for GLBTQ youth? Here is a link that might help you find something in your area: http://www.glbtnearme.org.

I know that when I isolate it can be really hard to get out in public but once I go out in public for a while it does get easier. So, maybe once you start getting into the hang of going to school the anxiety you are feeling will mellow out a bit. I know it probably won't go away completely but isolation can increase anxiety or at least that is what I have noticed.

I really hope that this helped in some way and if you need anything please feel free to message me. :)

Re: Terrible social anxiety and having panic attacks over school

I am so sorry that you are having a tough/hard time right now. I understand where you are coming from. Are you currently seeing a therapist/counselor? If not, I highly suggest that you try to see one now before everything else gets worse. Talking to a therapist/counselor can be a big help to you. If you don't mind me asking, what triggers your social anxiety and panic attacks? Once you figure out what the triggers are, then maybe you will be able to cope a little better during these types of situations.