TeenHelp - Can't make friends due to anxiety

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Can't make friends due to anxiety

I have always had anxiety, mainly because I wasn't used to being around people at a young age (I was home schooled until fifth grade). I have also gone to 6 different schools since then, so I haven't been able to truly get close to or trust anyone.

This year, I switched to a school that I'll be attending for the rest of highschool (2 more years). I finally have a chance to make lifelong friends, but I have barely even talked to anybody for the whole year and have only made one friend so far.

My social anxiety isn't only limited to talking to people. In class, I feel like I'm glued to my seat because I can't even get up and sharpen my pencil. I'm afraid that everyone is always watching me and judging me. I've never been bullied before, yet I feel paranoid that everyone is talking about me behind my back. :(

My social anxiety has never been this bad before. I really want to get rid of it and I don't know how. All of my friends from my last school are really outgoing and tell me to "just get over it." I can't just move on from it and they don't understand. Has anyone gone through this before?

Re: Can't make friends due to anxiety

There's nothing worse than wanting to be social and being unable to. When I was at school I was painfully shy and it was so difficult for me to make friends because I felt I'd probably say something stupid or they wouldn't be able to deal with my rather uncommon personality. When I was in lessons, like you I was scared of getting up from my seat to do anything because I felt like people were passing comments about me and I'd get so paranoid that I'd end up staying put until the end of the lesson.

I found it easier to make a few friends closer to the end of school time because my fellow pupils were 'slightly' more maturer than the previous years and I ended up making friends with people who were just as socially anxious and shy as I was. What I found works best is talking to people one to one. When you're in a lesson and you're sat next to someone, ask them if they have a pen you can use, or ask them if there was any homework (even if you know there was/wasn't), little things can be huge ice breakers. Something to consider is seeing if there are any groups or after school clubs you could join. Groups are a great way of meeting people who have similar interests as you and so is a great conversation started because you'll know at least you and whoever you're talking to will have at least one thing in common. :)